[luxurioussnake]

Forgot to mention – he’s asked to borrow money late at night on several occasions and it’s always like £38.95 etc. I said he’s obviously trying to raise £40 for a bag of coke and making it look “less suspicious” by not making it a round number. Obviously he denies this and would sent me e.g. a text from O2 saying he needs to top up his phone, or an item in an Amazon shopping basket.

The other night he sent me a text “evidence” and I noticed that the supposed O2 text said “5th may” instead of “5th May”. I’ve never received a text from my phone operator with a grammatical error and immediately became suspicious. I played around with my phone and discovered that you can rename your own phone number as “O2” and effectively text yourself. I am 100% sure that’s what he has done.

I try to confront him about these things but he gets cross, turns his phone off, then reappears later claiming to have “fallen asleep”. The lying is driving me nuts as I don’t know what is real and what isn’t. The lying is absolutely the worst thing about it.

He even told me once that his ex gf smashed up his PS4 and he wanted to borrow money to buy a new one. I refused. A month later his “nephew gave him” a PS4. I’m pretty sure he had the PS4 all along and it was just an attempt to borrow money from me for cocaine.

I sound mad and paranoid because I have no evidence for these things. All I can say is that his lies aren’t even very good and I can just tell..

[hilton]

[esta]

You have a solid career and a future.

If you let him into your life it will all disappear

You will never trust him.

Without trust there is nothing.

So as Hilton says RUN

Get on with your life whilst you still have one

[daniela]

Our boyfriends sound so similar. Mine also drinks and uses cocaine. A year ago, sometime after moving in together he talked about how he’s slowly cutting down and would eventually stop. I believed him, and didn’t want to push or force him to stop cold turkey because I thought he could do it. He seemed sincere and would let me flush his bags down the toilet when I found them.

Fast forward to now, and I’ve just moved into a new apartment away from him because nothing has changed. He’s gotten more secretive and distant and I couldn’t take it anymore. I also talked about moving out when we were still living together but I’m not sure that he believed I’d actually do it. I really miss him, but I’m afraid of what this could do to my future. We’re still together because I still love him, but I guess I want some distance from this. I have no idea if this is even the right thing or if breaking up is better.

Similar to you, I’m young and have a good career. We’ve talked about marriage, kids, etc. but I’m terrified. What if everything I worked for ends up getting destroyed by this. What if we get a house together and I end up being the sole provider because he spends all his money on drugs. He really hasn’t got anything to his name, bad credit, zero savings. I on the other hand have been saving since college and building my credit because I care about owning a home one day and having a nice future.

I do love him and wish he would stop, but I don’t think he’s ready at all. No idea when, or if he’ll ever be. I keep telling myself that there’s tons of other SOBER guys out there who can actually wake up at a normal time in the morning. With mine, it’s like pulling teeth just trying to get him to do something at noon. I feel like I’m dealing with a stubborn child.

I hope living away from him provides clarity. Sadly, living away from him isn’t much different than living with him. He was there, but never fully there. I’m heartbroken.

[purpleheart]

I’m sorry you are going through this . And this is going to seem harsh what I say but as the poster above said – Run .. for the hills . You can’t build a future with someone who’s wrapped up in this and if you do the rapid ageing will be effecting you too .. you know you won’t be able to trust him and it sounds like he’s no where near the point of being himself get off the stuff or booze. Why put yourself through all that – you deserve so much more you don’t need to settle. Please consider – because if you get further down the line marriage and then kids – it gets really tricky and heartbreaking ( I know this ) much love , sending strength xxxx

[Author]

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