- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by mellyons.
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March 6, 2023 at 8:50 am #32714JaynielouParticipant
Hi
I met a man a year ago who when I met him was drinking every day. He has now stopped drinking but about 6 months ago he told me he likes to smoke crack. I said I won’t accept this & he said he will stop. But everytime he has access to money he uses crack. The lies, the deceit tear me apart.
The longest he has gone is 6 weeks so then I trust him with his bank card & he spent £60 on crack.
The last time he used was on Saturday, he had £10 left from when we went out & he brought crack. He turns the tables on me because when I said you’ve been smoking crack, he tries to make out I’m imaging it.
We have a holiday booked in May & now I’m unsure if to go with him or end the relationship. He makes me sad, depressed, angry etc
In his eyes he’s doing nothing wrong because its only once in a while but I’m not having drugs in my life
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March 6, 2023 at 5:42 pm #32718paw_xParticipant
Jaynielou,
If I were you I would get out now. From what you’re saying it sounds like you’re already trying to take control of his finances to help him get clean, and despite that he’s still throwing it back in your face and buying drugs at the first opportunity. He doesn’t admit he has a problem so there’s nothing anyone can really do for him until he does. You need to protect yourself and your own well-being.
You’ve only been with him such a short time for all this misery. It isn’t worth it. He needs to change himself and you need to look after you. I’ve been with an addict a lot longer and he’s now relapsed time after time in the last year, and because we’ve bought a house together in that time I’m somewhat trapped. If I were you, I would run and never look back.
Wishing you all the best x
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March 12, 2023 at 11:27 pm #32764LiilleSunshineParticipant
Please get out now while you can. My son is addicted to crack and I wouldn’t wish the horrors of it on anyone. Your BFs ‘now and again’ use will soon be regular because of the powerfulness of the crack addiction. You will end up with no money or belongings he will take it all from you. Please please leave him.
There is still hope for you
We are 8 years in to this addiction and I have now given up all hope I just want to die and then the misery of his addiction will all go away -
May 17, 2023 at 6:02 pm #35218JaynielouParticipant
Well I’ve finally found the strength to end the relationship. The smoking of crack has got worse, he spent £400 in a few days so I’ve just been on holiday & let him stay at mine as he was homeless. I’ve now found out he smoked crack nearly every day & is now getting money off his dad to fund this.
I have given him so many chances & am tired of the constant lies. Today I have asked him to leave & I now feel like a weight has been lifted. Onwards & upwards for me. Sadly crack is very addictive & he is getting more & more into the addiction, also accompanied by alcohol.
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May 29, 2023 at 5:59 pm #35275mellyonsParticipant
I am so glad for you. You completely made the right decision. Knowing the life you want to live and not allowing anything that contradicts it is so important!
I married a man I knew had “Used to smoke crack”…. Guess what.. he was still using… And did for four years before I found out.. it’s sickening.
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