Hi ,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you feel so confused and out of your depth about how to deal with the impact of your partner’s cocaine use. It’s very sad that it’s making you feel ill. If you think it would be helpful to talk with someone who would understand what you are going through please contact us at Icarus Trust.
We are a charity that offers support to people dealing with addiction in their family and we have specially trained and experienced Family Friends who you could talk with if you get in touch. Maybe talking to one of them would help you to feel less lost and know how to move forward.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Take care and good luck.