[bt1978]

Hey Jorge. Thanks for sharing mate, that cant have been easy.

That is alot you have going on there, and it sounds like you know this is a problem, it also sounds like you dont know how to stay stopped

There is good and bad news here I reckon.

The bad news is that addiction left to run riot will only get worse and worse. It will strip you of everything worthwhile – family, job, home, finances, friends

The good news is that if you are serious about stopping and have genuinely had enough, with willingness and hard work there is a wealth of stuff to throw at this. You can beat addiction a day a day at a time and live a happy healthy productive life.

It’s really up to you now mate

[jorge15]

I’ve been reading through a lot of other people’s posts. Seem to be a hell of a lot of posts by the people living with a coke addict. Its a scary thing, and it seems to be almost as big as smack was in the 90s. But it’s more dangerous, cos.no one had a cheeky hit of smack in the pub toilet and still had a banging night out. Come sneaks up on you. It took 20 years to.get hold of me.

But I have some advice for everyone living with an addict.

First of all. You have to decide whether you are going to see it through or not, From the beginning. The drama of you leaving in the middle means you might as well not have bothered in the first place.

Second of all, I can’t stress this enough, they may stop, and they may be doing really well, but there is still a good chance they will wobble. DONT MAKE THEM FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Think of coke as beer. If someone is an alcoholic, and one night at a party, they have a few beers. You wouldn’t jump.on them and go mental, you’d probably ask them how they feel about it and tell them, it’s ok, it’s only one night, let’s just keep going.

Come is the same times 10.

If you want the old them back. You need to support them, not attack them, and they need to feel.comfortable enough to tell.you everything.

Also. Understand, that months down the line, they are still addicts. 5 months after being clean, my wife put 20k into my account because “she didn’t trust herself not to spend it” I tried to tell.her I didn’t want it, but I was too scared to tell her it was because I was scared I’d spend it on coke.

What I’m trying to say, is it will only work if you do it together, trust me, he is going through worse then hell, If it wasn’t for my kids, I’d be down there already and seriously relieved that I wasn’t living this torture any more.

Work together and use your brain, you can probably trust him with anything, except, you will never again be able to trust him with drugs and money. You need to come to terms with that.

[jorge15]

Sorry for the rant. I don’t know if anyone will read this. I just needed to say this, cos I don’t think I’ve got any chance of getting what I need, but if I can help someone else, then at least my.pain won’t be for nothing.

[kel1]

Everyone’s experience is different, and that’s without the standpoint of children and subjecting them to hell as well.

I’d imagine you’re in the thick of it, and have struggled, but you don’t know what other people’s lives have been like whilst living with an addict so reading what you wrote just added insult to injury! Let’s say, we did all you suggested “for years” and it still got worse – then what? Shall we stay some more, destroy ourselves a lil more, have a break down a lil more? Because that’s the reality of it!

That’s why other places such as Al Anon offer no advice and or cross share, because addiction affects us all very differently!

I can’t even say anymore right now other than wishing you well In your own recovery!

[bt1978]

You can’t do someone else’s recovery for them. It starts and finishes with them

[kel1]

Yes agree with you BT1978

[bt1978]

I just think there is a fine line between support and enabling the addict. I know for a fa t if I’m not present and correct, I’ll be looking to an out or some way to manipulate the situation or justify my behavior

[kel1]

I was enabling for years until I realized and that hit me in th face which was devastating for me and my family. So yeh I get it

[Author]

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