[missXvamp]

I don’t want to go into detail about whats been happening. I just want to know others experiences or opinions. Every time a situation happens its only when we have been using after days of no sleep.

Basically I want to know can meth completely change how a person  usually behaves and reacts in a very negative way that is absolutely not how they behave when sober?

A clear pattern is now happening nearly every time we use together. Things will go from being absolutely normal to very emotionally abusive I would say. This last time which just happened was the worst. He has never been physical with me but he seems to lack empathy and rational thinking. And it’s really damaging our relationship.

So I’ve been using 8 months with breaks. Partner been using now I think about 3 years with breaks of various lengths. We both use typically a gram and make it last a week.

He knows it’s meth that is causing this to happen yet when we’re on a break usually he will end up ordering more when we only had a week break. This has been happening more recently. He calls meth insidious yet he hasn’t actually bought up the topic of wanting to give it up together.

Yes I will be upset to not be able to use it again as its been really beneficial to me and my adhd. But I am willing to stop because I don’t like how it’s making my partner, behave. And I want it to stop and we absolutely cannot make this relationship work because I’m pretty sure it is the meth that is changing him.

I don’t know what I’ll do if he isn’t willing to even try and stop together. I admit I’ve become very dependent on him as he does so much for me. Because he loves taking care of me. And I do have mental health issues and limited mobility as well unfortunately.

I don’t want to think of life without him. Before we met I was housebound and binge drinking and so so lonely and just existing. He has been helping me to get out more and we have had so much fun adventures together. And we have more already planned.

I refuse to let this drug ruin this relationship. I just hope to god that he makes the right choice and chooses to be with me and make this a healthy relationship rather than one that has this toxicity in it.

I’m feeling very emotional and broken still really because of this last devastating episode. After be had some sleep he seemed more back to his nice self. But it’s going to take me a while to forgive and forget this last time.

This just cannot continue anymore.

 

 

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