[danman83]

Hiya, hope you are OK?

Such a sad story and I’ve seen it Alot the effects off alcohol and drugs.

My problem is coke, I got my best clean time the other week, 4 month clean then relapsed. Now I’m back not using again.

I had been using 12 years. I tried everything to stop, I always said I’ll never ever join CA, I hate talking in front of people ect. But I joined and its helped me so much. Its the same aspect as AA. Your mum could even join CA it’s exactly the same and some prefer CA than AA.

1st off your mum is definitely an alcoholic which I’m sure you know. Secondly if you want her to get better, she has to want to quit for herself, she needs to feel like she’s had enough of drinking each day, what it’s doing to her and wants help. You can want her to as much as you want, she will just do a half arsed attempt at getting better and your flogging a dead horse.

If she’s drinking like this and hiding, my suggestion is either rehab, get her a good start. Or join CA or AA, she needs to work the 12 steps if you know what these are, you have to start to believe in a higher power, doesn’t have to be god. One of the steps we do is step 4, resentments.. This is like things we hold onto from the past, that we constantly think of that hurt us and cause us to use, even without knowing.

Imagine having hot coal in your hand, it’s just going to constantly burn and hurt you if you do not let go. A lot of use is caused from a trauma, child hood trauma. Doesn’t even have to be physical can be emotional. And we talk about this to our sponsor and get it off our chest. It really does help.

You get other addicts or ex addicts numbers from meetings. And you phone them each day and connect. Especially when u get cravings. And believe me, talking to someone gets rid of cravings.

This C. A I’ve met so many people who just want see me get better and are there for me more than my own friends have been. I really mean this, and I get emotional how much love everyone shows on the meetings. And I feel so much better now. Even tho I relapsed I jumped back on the programme the next day.

If your mum does join and she relapses, it’s part of recovery and not to give up.

But she really needs to want to quit for herself and hit her rock bottom. I hope this helps and I’m always here if u need to ask me anything.

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