[yram1960]

My daughter in her late 30’s with a 17 year old son. She is an alcoholic but does not acknowledge the severity of her problem. Two weeks ago after visiting every day after school with my grandson she was drunk, every day. On the Saturday I gave her an ultimatum get help or the grandson moves out and lives with me.

I go the usual oh I’ll stop blahblahblah. I said no you need help so together we flled in an e-consult via NHS . It said they would call her to discuss how to move forward and get help.

i thought at last, maybe she has seen the light ….. but no she said they called and told her it’s just a hangover you keep getting just reduce your drinking and you’ll be fine. Gutted.

Today was my other daughter’s birthday and we arranged to meet daughter no.1, at a bus stop. From over the road I could see a woman swaying and looking dirty and unkempt yes it was my daughter I felt so sad. I don’t know where to go from here

[zwq]

Your grandson must be very embarrassed or protective of his mum?what does he want to do? He’s 17. It’s so hard. If the son was younger I would take him to yours as a safeguard issue. It’s a living nightmare isn’t it. Good luck with it.

I’m in utter dilemma too. Any ideas on my issues. Zwq.

[halo20]

Hey Yram,

My mum was and still is an alcoholic, myself and my brother and sister still bear the scars from our upbringing. I just wanted to put some perspective into your post. I also had grandparents and they were like a safe haven for me. They never insisted on anything, no ultimatums, no shame, no judgments – but they were always there for me, they provided stability, love and fun. I learned so much from them about family and love and cherished every moment with them. Without them I do not know where me and my brother and sister would have ended up. I never lived with them, but moved out of home pretty quick aged 18 and survived!!! You are probably a safe haven too, I bet your grandchild will remember this for all their life. I stopped contact with my mum as I couldn’t stand the lies and drama surrounding all aspects of her life and all the hurt that comes with alcoholism. Your grandchild will have grown up quicker than most and have a different type of childhood and seen and heard things other kids wouldn’t have, but it doesn’t mean they wont thrive. Best of luck and I hope you have thanks from your grandchild for just being there.

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