[Frahar]

I posted back in February/march about my husband losing his little one and turning back to coke to cope, I thought this was the worst time of my life the hate the nastiness i thought I would never get him back then out of the blue he msg me he was at rock bottom saying he didn’t want this life anymore I was so dubious but long story short he did it, he was back to his old self. We were due to move back into together i moved to a nice house we were so excited then i went away for a weekend (we had been spending weekends together) and just like that he’s gone again the nastiness is back the cold unfeeling I knew as soon as i spoke to him he had been on a major bender but he denied it he let me down helping with our new house and every time i opened my mouth i was accusing or going on on a particularly nasty msg i told him he can’t hurt my feelings anymore than he has, he then said I’ve cheated on you loads ha ha he then offered to send details of everyone he’s fxxked (he didn’t) this was on my birthday… Its been two and a bit weeks and after five months of believing we were coming through it we are at square one again and it feels worse than before he’s hanging around with a bloke who also sniffs and has zero intention of stopping and its like my husband has gone off to join him. I wish so much i didn’t go away that weekend i feel like its my fault because I rowed with him over the phone (i have anxiety and had a panic attack) because i wanted to go home and he was drunk wouldn’t help i think he had began to dabble and when i argued he’s just thought sod it.  He is so cold this time im actually wondering if he’s found someone else before he would block unblock now he’s just totally pushed me out. We haven’t even been married a year he’s told me if i want a divorce i can sell the car he bought me and use that to pay (i need the car for my kids and school now we’ve moved) I actually just want to go to sleep and not wake up my head is like mush i miss him so much but can’t face this again either i ended up attempting suicide last time. I don’t want to give up on him because deep down i know he’s hurting about his little one.

[paw_x]

Please – if nothing else, do not blame yourself for someone else’s addiction. You could have went away that weekend or not, YOU did not cause what HE chose to do.

The horrible thing of being a partner of an addict is that no matter what we do, we can’t make them better. We can’t make them choose the right path, we can’t fix their problems, we are powerless. Only he can make the right choices, only he can choose the right friends, only he can get the help he clearly needs – and it’s out there, CA meetings are there for him.

All you can do is look after you and decide if this is something you want to have to put up with. Do you want to be miserable and afraid to even go away for the weekend as he’ll destroy your lives?

I’m not saying he can’t fix this – he can go to meetings, get himself a sponsor, and do all he can to fight this. But you can’t fight it for him and you aren’t under any obligation to stand by while he destroys everything you had. That’s all up to you, you only get one life and you deserve to be happy ❤️ take care of you and focus on what you want x

[stillhoping4change23]

Hello Frahar

go on you tube and watch some narcissist videos then you will understand  what is going on with your man and you will be free.

God bless you

[Lottier]

I’m so sorry to read this and sadly I feel there is so much I can relate to, other threads I have read seem to be so similar in the way they punish those closest to them and almost make it all our fault

 

 

[FrazzlePop24]

You deserve better, I think you should focus on yourself.

He can play the Blame Game with himself

[Author]

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