[anonymousm]

Hi everyone I’ve been really enjoying the information, stories and advice I’ve seen in this forum and would like some myself now.

My bf and I have been together for 4 years. We live together and I love him very much and know he loves me. I knew he was a recovering addict when we got together – he overcame a heroin addiction and only used heroin once since we’ve met. However there have been other slip ups as well – he’s used crack before (that was a bad lapse a couple years ago he had to go to the hospital) and some other things here and there. The constant outside of those big one is it’s always like he needs something to use. I know that’s not good for him and I feel bad for enabling it for so long. He used kava for a longtime, then poppy seed tea, and most recently suboxone. It’s a daily thing he says he needs and he’s trying to get off.

Anyway, that aside a month ago it was another slip like I’ve seen in the past. He was going to see this old girl he used to know to get adderall – I know not the worst but still. He doesn’t need the stimulant like he says he “needs” suboxone. It’s hurtful to him and it was hurtful to me bc he told me for weeks until the truth came out. He lies right to my face for weeks about it and he was also using my car and I strictly said my car cannot be eve used for anything bad like that. That was a tough time and I stayed in a hotel for a night but we reconciled with promises to never let it happen again.

Well it did. Just yesterday he said he was going to hang out with a friend (also recovering addict but soon to be dad so I was hopeful and trusting). When he got home he was acting very much on something I could tell. He even said “I’m not on anything” when I didn’t ask and provided unnecessary details hen he went to see his friend. I did not make any accusations until he left for work and I looked at his computer – he had taken my car to go see his friend and they did go there but then he went to a hotel (no reason to be there). Then on fb I saw he had a chat up with this other girl who he has gotten drugs from in the past. I talked to him when he got he from work and he admitted he went to get cocaine. Cocaine!!

I just don’t know what to do. I love him and I want to support him even thru slips like this I know addiction is such a hard disease. But I’m exhausted and my heart hurts. The lying right after we had this big thing JUST a month ago and it was with such a worse drug this time! It’s not like it was presented and he could t help himself he decided to take his friend to this hotel (in my car also which is so disrespectful I am so clean cut I cringe at the thought of anything with anything to do with me involved in a crime) and do cocaine and decided to lie to my face and buy me flowers and snacks “just because he loves me” (they were guilt gifts)

Any advice appreciated… I am just so tired. Of the lies and him hurting himself with this. What can I do to help? Should I take a day to stay in a hotel? He’s not allowed to use my car anymore but is that enough?

Thanks everyone in advance sorry for the length.

[busby]

Hi there,

I don’t have much in the way of advice for you here but my heart goes out to you as I know how you feel. It’s very difficult coping with a partners addictions, I’m there in that very same struggle myself right now so I can relate to the emotional roller-coaster it causes. Regarding your car, I would say quite right that he shouldn’t be using it, it’s not fair on you should anything happen so it’s reasonable to protect yourself that way.

I hope your situation gets a bit better, look after yourself ♥

[danman83]

Are you from America? Adderall and kava are really known over there, not really heard people have that stuff in UK.

[danman83]

Anyway, hope u are OK. I’m 4 week clean from cocaine this Monday.

It’s really Hard for partners of an addict when they love them loads, and you seem to understand its a disease and know a bit about it.

Does he really want to quit? He needs to want to for himself. Me personally if he is not putting in the effort to quit all drugs even alcohol, he’s needs to show u he has deleted dealers nums, deleted Facebook and other social media as u can message dealers on there.

Maybe join cocaine anonymous that’s what I have done and I’ve never been so happier in my life.

He needs to prove to you that he really wants to stop.

If not, you need to go your own way, unless u want to put up with it. That’s my honest opinion. Taking your car off him won’t do much, and addicts just lie all the time, anything to get there drugs we will do. Feel free to ask me anything

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