[kitty115]

It’s been a long long 2.5 years….I met a guy online and he lived an hour away…after 8 months he moved down to me for a new life, admitting that he had no friends in his hometown but plenty of enemies due to his coke use. His family warned me to be careful, as did his 3 teenage kids who have 0 respect for him. He moved into my home with my 2 kids aged 9 and 11 and I also have 2 adult kids who adored him. It quite quickly became apparent that he still had a cocaine habit, his wages would dissappear instantly, he stole from my purse, stole my children’s money boxes, and took money from people in my area promising to do work for them and never following through.. I supported him with therapy and NA meetings but he never seemed to stay clean for more than a few weeks at most. When he was good he was amazing, loving and caring and looked after me (I have a heart condition) but when he was bad he was awful…verbally abusing me, stealing, constant lieing, going off for 2 day binges and switching his phone off…life was hell. In Aorik I told him to move out after finding coke in his wallet at my house. He promised to get clean….December I found coke in his wallet in my bedroom…I told him I didn’t want him in my house unless kids were in bed. We limped through Xmas and on 5th Jan he got sacked from his 6th job since we met, for stealing. One night he was due round and just text me out of the blue saying “I can’t do this anymore…my heads not in the right place and I don’t want to drag you down with me”…he then cut all contact.. just like that…we were engaged!!! 2 days later I went to the the room he rents…to be told by a housemate he was arrested. 4 days later he calls me saying he’s going to crown court for £12k of stealing from various companies….I had no idea at all…and that he had been running from the police for 2 years….the house mate also told me after his arrest the landlord rushed in and removed bags and bags of drugs from his room…and she said she was sure they’ve been dealing together. This would explain his odd behaviour since he moved into the new room in December, sneaking off and secret calls etc. I am heartbroken and have ended up on diazepam its all been such a shock. For 3 weeks he refused to talk to me saying he ended things because I’m “controlling” and won’t get back with me until “I” change….pure deflection..I begged for him to come back as did my adult kids but in the end we admitted defeat. Its been a week now since I last text him and I’ve started to get a few missed calls from private numbers and ones I don’t know. I think he’s shocked I’ve stopped contacting him. He is due in court on 9 Feb and I expect he will go to prison.. I am at least hoping he has the decency to let me know the outcome. He has no friends and his family disowned him a couple of years ago due to his stealing. I’m just so lost and confused x

[ka123]

I’m so sorry that you are going through this, I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling for all the lies and deceit. It may be hard to see it now but this may be this best thing for you and your children to move on and heal and be happy as you all deserve, he sounds as though he is a wounded man with some deep rooted issues that only he himself can help, it’s amazing that you stuck by him and tried to help him,you deserve somebody who will be truthful to you ,I know from personal experience the pain of somebody lying and hiding things from you it would make you feel as if you are going mad at times, wishing you and your children all the best xx

[kitty115]

Thank you for your reply. I tried my best to support him….was always there for him..sadly he seemed to want the best of both worlds. He said he loved the family life but he also just couldn’t stop taking the drugs. Even up until we split he always told me that the theft was for £100 of goods and that he didn’t do it. He lied to me for over 2 years and that hurts. But he has chosen his path and sadly it didn’t include recovery and being with us in a family. I ended up in hospital last night, my 10 year old had to call an ambulance. I have a flare up of my crohns disease and was in agony. Its made me realise that my health and my kids are my priority now. I cannot be responsible for him and his choices anymore x

[Author]

Posts