[anon2095]

Just joined the thread and am so moved by all of the stories I’ve read. How far people are willing to go for the love of partners / friends / relatives with addiction is incredible. Also makes me feel like I can’t comment on stories because mine isn’t as severe, but I still feel like an idiot.

I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and from the get go he’s been very honest about his mental health and substance abuse issues (mostly alcohol / cocaine related). He recently confessed that since lockdown began he’s become hooked on benzos, we just came back from an appointment so hopefully he’ll be off them soon.

I feel like an idiot for thinking he could enjoy any substance ‘sensibly’ with me, and that I could fix him. I also feel like an idiot for not sticking to my boundaries – my one rule (with everything, especially drugs) is honesty and he broke it, but I’m not sure I want to break up with him.

Does this make me weak? I think if I were seeing this from the outside (as I felt reading many other women’s threads) I would scream RUN! but instead I feel lost and confused. And really fucking tired.

I wish anyone reading this many many happinesses, I don’t think we’re here for nice reasons and I would be incredibly grateful for support.

[coco1212]

I know exactly how your feeling as I am feeling the same thing. My, i will say ex I don’t class him as my boyfriend now but to be honest i don’t know what we are anymore of almost 20 years took on a crack habit 17 months ago and I have never felt so hurt,angry and betrayed in all my life. I don’t know what to do on one hand I want to try and help him get off it on the other i want to wash my hands of him. Want complicates things for us is we have children and now other people are involved and I feel suffocated by it all. Like I’m being punished.

[shazshaz]

My daughter also has problems with benzos they send her round the twist, she will hurt someone on them one day she is unable to control herself on them.

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