I know exactly how your feeling as I am feeling the same thing. My, i will say ex I don’t class him as my boyfriend now but to be honest i don’t know what we are anymore of almost 20 years took on a crack habit 17 months ago and I have never felt so hurt,angry and betrayed in all my life. I don’t know what to do on one hand I want to try and help him get off it on the other i want to wash my hands of him. Want complicates things for us is we have children and now other people are involved and I feel suffocated by it all. Like I’m being punished.