[l54321]

My partner is an alcoholic and I feel so helpless. His last lapse was in May this year. It’s been a tough year for everyone, we have also suffered the devastating news in august the baby I was carrying had died, this was two weeks before we moved house. Then two & a half weeks ago school contacted me regarding the eldest of my 3 daughters who is 11, she has been self harming and bless her wisdom, but to stop school from telling me she said I’d hit her if I found out, naturally school involved relevant authorities and I support them in their doing so and since they are satisfied I don’t do such things. We found out she was being trolled into self harm and had received messages with ways to kill herself. At the same time we also have a court hearing to ascertain custody for his daughter. We had all 4 girls here this weekend and I knew something was up but Saturday we were out all day at an outdoor adventure place – no alcohol for him at all, I was reassured. Then I got up yesterday morning to find him off his face on alcohol, he slept most of the day and if I woke him to remind him his daughter was here and he should be spending time with her he just had a go at me. Apparently he’d only drunk one small bottle of beer all day and took two co codamol, biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard! In his drunken state maybe it sounds plausible which is even more disturbing. I found his stash of alcohol and hid it away, moved all money out of our bank accounts and confiscated bank cards, I refuse to give him a penny for alcohol. I know it’s dangerous for them to just stop but somehow found it hard to care. This morning he was gone when I woke, phone switched off all day. In the end I called the local hospital and true to form he had once again taken himself there. He’s still there now and has messaged to say he’s sorry and can I pick him up some co codamol, I’m a bloody mug. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve never loved anyone so much but I just don’t know if I can deal with this forever, knowing he can check out and screw me over whenever the going gets tough, it adds more pressure on me while he just thinks of himself.

[spottydog]

Hi, I am so sorry to read this. I too live with an alcoholic partner and a lot of what you’ve wrote rings true with me too. Mine’s on a “giving it up” drive at the moment. It’s been a week so far. This was after he crossed a line last weekend and hit me, something he had never done before. I completely understand the lack of sympathy and that feeling that you love them so much but wonder how much more you can put up with.

I’m here if you need to talk xx

[l54321]

Spotty dog thank you so much for your reply which I have only just seen searching for Adfam email to login. I guess writing it down somehow seems to help me and as my partner is having yet another episode I’m reaching out again, I feel so rude I haven’t replied to you after your kind words. Every time I need him to support me he drinks. I found out yesterday that my ex husband has kidney cancer at aged 41, I have 3 young daughters by him and my partner upon hearing the news started drinking. I feel devastated about my ex, he is such a wonderful man and father and he doesn’t deserve what he is going through. My partner is drunk in bed at the moment asleep and has been for hours and after yesterday’s news I actually don’t feel anything regarding him, not even anger or disappointment. I just feel so sad for my ex and my girls who don’t even know about their dad yet. I cried all night last night, my eyes are still swollen now. Addicts are so selfish it’s beyond comprehension to me. I am so sorry you also have to cope with an alcoholic, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I feel like a little piece of me dies with every episode, we are supposed to marry on 12th December, the wedding has been cancelled twice due to COVID and I wonder also if it’s life’s way of doing me a favour by preventing it from happening. Truth is though that when he’s sober and working hard and being the best man he can be I’ve never been so in love. How has the sober drive gone with your husband? I hope he is continuing with it and you have peace at the moment. Sending you hugs and if you’d like to talk I’d love that and will make sure I check my mail this time xx

[Author]

Posts