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Hi, I’m Susan (pseudonym)
My fiancee has just told me he’d relapsed on heroin after nearly ten years clean. It’s come completely out of the blue and I feel shell-shocked. I don’t know how to begin to process this… I don’t know what to expect… I don’t know how to walk the line between support and enabling. I want to love him and be there for him unconditionally, but I fear that could be classed as enabling?
I totally get that this is down to him and that I am not responsible for what he does. And I want to stay with him. And I feel appreciative and honoured that he has trusted me enough to TELL me he’s using again. My priority is to keep those channels of communication open. I don’t want to start making ultimatums that I know would only result in him shutting me out and trying to hide it from me. But I fear that being accepting and non-judgemental (as I was) might count as enabling??
My head is a mess. I’m in shock and I can’t process this.
It has been a worry for ten years and now it’s a reality and I can’t fully believe it.
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