[mb88]

Hello everyone, I’m actually writing this during my break at work because I need to hear from ppl that might be able to understand what I’m going through. I am the youngest of 4 and my oldest brother is a drug addict. He used pretty much all types of hard drugs and probably even created some of his own using pain meds when he wasn’t able to get any. It all started in 2009, he got caught with heroine, lost his job and the struggle started. My father was an alcoholic before him too and passed in 2011. Back to my brother, since that year, my life at home became impossible. The fights for money and the abuse were usually targeted at my mother, but considering that we all shared one floor, I couldn’t even sit in my room in peace. I started going out just to escape and for a while it worked ( I thought it did, but it just made me an easy target for not so decent ppl). The fights continued and it became impossible to sit at home, 4 hours of screaming and cursing was just a normal day. More deaths in the family and my mother’s health deteriorated. They would fight over the phone the minute she would wake up from her surgery. I became the servant, just the person that took care of things and my mother. No thank you and no appreciation and even more attacks on the way I think and behave because I am not religious. My brother started breaking things and seeing things, the night of my aunt’s funeral, so I called the police and I gave my mom an ultimatum, either he goes to rehab or I am out. She didn’t like that so I left. Fast forward 4 years later he burnt the house down. And she is still defending him. He is in rehab now but she gives him money for beer when he comes to visit. I told her that I won’t set foot in a place where he is. I honestly resent him and can’t even look at him without getting the urge to scream. Yes, I hate him. He is still taking advantage of her and doesn’t do shit around.  My mother tells me that I am wrong for not wanting any relationship with him, he can get better for himself but far away from me. I have lived through horror and no one even bothered to apologize for all the bad things I have been put through and I am supposed to just forgive and forget. Also note that there are rehab centers that wouldn’t even take him anymore because he is said to influence others in recovery to use again.  I know this is a long piece but honestly it doesn’t even cover half of the things I have seen and been put through.

[stillhoping4change23]

Hey Forgotten child i hear you.

I have a daughter who has been taking drugs for the past 30 years, only drugs seem to matter to her. it looks like she does not even care about herself.  take care of you,  you are allowed to do that.  be careful that you do not start mixing with people who will drain you, they see that you care and take advantage.

love your self for now and heal from your family trauma try to believe in God he can help you.

sending you love. xx

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