Grieving Sister

  • This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by ash.
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    • #4542
      ash
      Participant

      This is very difficult and I don’t know where to start. My brother was an alcoholic and people always judge and have their cruel opinions like it’s their own fault etc etc. People are not aware that alcoholism is a disease not an addiction
      Many will not understand or try to understand and many who judge you has a lowlife nobody waste of space and expect trouble from an alcoholic which I experienced and witness for 3 years from the least expected source not everyday people but trained medical professionals and support workers. Too me he was my loving older brother and very loved by our mother. My brother was a someone human being who also felt pain but by the TRAINED medical professionals seen has an alcoholic waste of time and expected trouble. Didn’t bother looking into his medical history and his illnesses like high BP diabetes epilepsy liver cirrosis heart failure. Took my brother on the 28th to A/E he had high temperature and vomiting
      Doctor at A/E approached the cubicle and said do you know this is his 69th visit I was shocked by what he had said and that he wasn’t concerned that my brothers blood pressure was 256. Doctor said me that’s normal for him
      My brothers eyes all of a sudden went yellow then the colour of mustard told doctor he said no he isn’t jaundice and my concern on how high his blood pressure was and that it could cause an heart attack. I see the change and how he was suffering I was scared and knew this ain’t good. Because I read up a lot on alcoholism, the signs, detoriation of health. It was like me telling them what is wrong but because they were doctors they knew better BULLSHITTT. My brother was sent home because blood test come back normal and was told same has last time straight away I knew they hadn’t and he just wanted my brother gone. 31st rushed into hospital via 999 call my brother had a massive heart attack and was told 24hrs are critical and don’t look good because oxygen and blood levels very low. They put him in HDU not INTENSIVE CARE he suffered and was in so much pain I saw him suffering and was told he was given the highest dose of pain relief BULLSHITTT he died at 0640hrs 01 he suffered and I saw it couldn’t help him and this is the last memory of my brother I have him fighting for his life and the professional medics didn’t care. My mother became very ill after my brother passed away 9 months later my mother passed away with terminal lung cancer that took her in 3 months of diagnose. I have struggled and still an because I was close to them both I suffer with severe depression and my dose of antidepressants is high. I am also left traumatised. I am taking this further because these hospitals gps support workers think they are untouchable because they are trained qualified professionals
      I know more about alcholism than they do and how to be with them and understanding them. My brother drank because his body needed it I saw it and the anger and no help no pallative care for him
      He was left to suffer and for 3 years I see how he was treated and his call for help from medical professional..saying I know I am dying and no one cares he said to they are killing me
      I am taken this further and want more help for someone’s son sad brother that’s what they should be seen has
      Alcholism there is no cure for class A drugs you have methadone. Librium is a substitute for alcohol but only for 10days then in them 10 days the dose does get reduced. And they expect you to be alcohol free after this. Only a person who has been strong enough to be alcohol free can tell you everything about their suffering because they have felt it and gone through it like me I can tell you everything about because I saw my brother suffer and how you get told no not a/E go to gp then gp will say go a/E. These trained professional have learnt from a book not via experience and felt an alcholic pain and begging for help…This needs to stop these support groups a/e gps need to go back to education and to understand alcholism is a disease and the health problems you get with alcholism and not to judge a alcoholic or drug addict. No one drinks thinking they are gonna become alcoholics and drug addicts don’t take drugs to be addicted and eventually kill them
      THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS THEY FEEL PAIN. I will never be in peace or myself because of these normal people who passed or training has a professional medic that they are superior to anyone else. They ain’t got a clue. I know more than them. Loved to be questioned about alcholism and a doctor also. I know that my answers will be deep and from experiencing the only person I know loved me because I felt it my brother father figure.????????

    • #9438
      hopeless78
      Participant

      They don’t understand, after my husband tried to hang himself twice and set fire to him self one in just two days the ‘medical profession did nothing, just wait to his next appointment they said. I told them he wouldn’t be alive in a weeks time! ‘m lucky he is till here but the drinking still goes on and the help still isn’t there. The NHS isn’t up to the task and Private care is to expensive even if you can find someone to give you the time of day.

    • #9442
      crusha
      Participant

      I am so sorry for your loss & I feel your pain as I am and have been going through it for years with my brother. He has been making some improvement then we get hit with a whopper lapse & he wrecks his life and takes his family down with him every time. If only he could stop the denial but he has been let down so many times with no outside support because when they are under the influence the services will not help!!!!!!!!!!!!!????

    • #9448
      ash
      Participant

      Hopeless 78 sori 4 late reply I am sorry to hear about ur husband and I can’t even think how u must feeling. It’s very frustrating when u think, read and hear that there is help available…but wen u want the help the NHS just throb u off and not interested. U shud take this further otherwise they will keep getting away with it. Every hospital and clinics have PALS they will look at ur complaint and concerns and get u answers. Plse pursue this and if u r not happy with wot u have been told by the doctors ur entitled 2 a 2nd opinion. Please also let them know how shocked and disgusted with their lack of concern n help for such a serious health mental matter….Plse pursue your concerns and hopefully u will get the right help for ur husband and hopefully support for urself. Plse keep informed and I hope n pray ur husband gets medical help. ☺

    • #9449
      ash
      Participant

      Crusha thank u….been thru wot u have and it ain’t easy n does get harder. Ur brother must feel judged and the constant negativity from others. People are quick to judge but don’t look deep within an alcoholic. Plse let him know he has u and u wana help and understand wot he feels…He won’t open up easily but he will and he just wants to feel loved for the man he is and not an alcoholic..I’ve experienced the disgusting lack of care of care by the gp, a/e, consultants and support workers who see alcholics has an addict n not seen has a person. Their attitude is disgraceful they don’t have a clue on how to speak, understand and look at the health issues caused by alcohol ie high BP, fits, liver cirrosis, pancreas inflamed, heps c, illusionations and many more. Please go online or Facebook and join this group Alcohol And Beyond u will hopefully get help from this site. I am taking my complaints further and won’t stop till alcoholics get treated n respected by the medical professions. I am doing a TV show with the Alcohol And Beyond Team sharing my experience and how theses doctors attitudes n lack of care n no empathy to Alcholics needs to be known n changed. Also it’s very easy to say to an alcoholic stop drinking but isn’t for an Alcoholic and they knw that don’t u think they tried. Only drink because their body needs the alcohol they don’t drink out of enjoyment. And I also think alcohol detox is not long enough this also needs to be looked at. Plse go on the site I have mentioned. I do feel ur brothers pain, urs and the family. In my thoughts xx

    • #9469
      icarus-trust
      Participant

      Hi Ash
      I’m so sorry for your loss and that you are angry about the level of support given to your brother. This must have been a really hard time for you.
      The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports friends and families of those dealing with addictions. If you think it would help please contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

    • #9625
      ash
      Participant

      Icarus Trust so sorry for late reply which i know why i havnt replied sooner.
      All i want is help for alcoholics and for them to be treated like any other sick persons. I want families and friends to understand the help, support, how they feel and some one who listens, dnt judge them and see them has a lost course. Alcoholism is an illness and the suffering they go through physically and mentally only a person who has been there out of love and concern can relate to them. Its very very difficult for families and friend to see and yes we suffer also. Ive seen how my brother was treated by professional medical doctors, GP, consultants and support workers disgraceful and have not 1 mm of empathy very nasty. So i see it has them not being medically trained to deal with alcoholism or drug addiction. Because they dont bother or even think to check them properly and just give libruim take blood test and discharge. So many health issues and not even given end of life care plan.

      I could go on and on.

      Grieving Sister ????

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