[Sadmum1]

This is my first post reaching out to find anyone in the same situation. My son is now 39. He’s been on drugs as early as 15. I’ve tried so many times to help him but have been abused by him over the years due to his addiction. What started out as weed then mcat to coke then heroin. He’s been in jail numerous times for theft and assault. I feel ashamed he’s my son but I’m still his mum. When I see him on socials I just cry looking at him. He’s just a mess. My heart breaks.
he was living with me. I had to kick him out as he was doing herion in the house. I couldn’t deal with that. He was homeless for a while. I presumed he had to hit rock bottom before he could come back up and get help.
I guess I’m just writing this to let it out. I feel I will get the call one day that he has passed on. It’s terrible for me to say but sometimes I’m hoping for that call so he can end his pain. I know that sounds bad. He’s so far gone. I feel like I’ve already lost him to drugs. He’s not the fun loving guy we use to know. He’s a shadow of himself. His clothes are dirty. He’s unkept and he smells. He’s just been arrested again for shoplifting so is back in jail. I feel like this is his safe place as he’s institutionalised.
my family have tried to help but he just abuses them too. I’ve had to come to the point where I’ve had to move house and cut off all ties as I can’t take the police keep ransacking my home. I feel like like a bad mum having to leave him to his own devices and cut him off but I don’t know what else to do.
sorry if I’m rambling

[daithua giongthua]

good

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