[danman83]

Hiya karen hope your ok… im in the same situation as your husband. But i am doing my best to quit coke. I lapse once a month roughly give or take. I did 2 month at the start of the year and lapsed. Which i was gutted about. I cant stand the stuff. I wish i never even tried it. My spending on it was no were near what your husband spends but i am still an addict.

Do you not think he might of been taking it longer than just before xmas??

Going back to the cheating its very hard to get over and you probably never will. My gf cheated on me with a friend. It was crafty how it happend. But being stupid, i went and got her back. It made our lifes hell for years. But me personally as its been 7 years now. You do get over it or should i say.. it goes away and you dont think about it. Time is a great healer, and i am not defending your husband here.. im saying it from my point of view when i was cheated on. But everyone is different.

But if like you say you want to stay with and he is a good man and he is staying clean. Just ride the storm for abit. It is hard. Plus cocaine does that to a lot of people, i hear it alot on here and other places.. people get an escort. He wouldnt dream of doing it clean. Its just a horrible drug. Just be firm with him regarding coke, and make sure he doesnt drink alcohol or associate with anyone with coke. Ive took up reading to distract me and another 4 books have come through my door today to keep me occupied. Lol.

Feel free to ask me anything and good luck.

[karen111]

Thank you for your reply. I believe it was Xmas as everything changed in January and going through account etc you could see the spending pattern. He has told me so much, I guess I wonder what would be the point of him lying now. He was only able to spend that much as we have it. Which now feels like a bit of a curse. At first I took control of money but reality is if he relapsed he would just run up debt. He knows if he touches coke or any other drug again me and boys are gone for good. One relapse is one too many with 2 young kids. He didn’t know he would get addicted but now he has a crystal ball to see what the future would hold. I can’t imagine how hard it is to beat an addiction. I hope you manage to find a way.

I’ve never worried about him cheating and believe if he stays sober he won’t. He didn’t do it as a social thing. That’s why I never suspected as always thought it was a party drug and he just stayed up all night looking depressed.

I’m hoping I feel better in time and can see him as I did before all this again.

Hope the reading keeps working as a distraction for you. I’ve read way more about addiction etc than I ever wanted to know. Hopefully remembering what it can take from you (£’s, self control, sense of worth, family, friends etc) will show you it’s not worth it.

[danman83]

Its everywere cocaine.. i know about 10 people i can get it off and within 10 mins dropped. Its terrible how its spreaded.

Alcohol is the main trigger to go and get coke.. so just be wary at partys and bbqs.. and other places were there is drink. I avoid all these now. But thats up to him and you what you decide to do.

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