[lisa1978]

It’s hard to know where to start really….I noticed a change in my husband around autumn/winter 2017. He was ill in bed with the flu to 10 days or so (looking back I don’t actually think it was the flu) since then he has not been the same.

He stopped going into work (he was able to work remotely) he barely got out of bed. One day I got a voicemail from his manager worried as they couldn’t get hold of him. When I got home he was in bed asleep, he’d been sleeping all day.

He has always had a problem with alcohol. If we have any in the house he will drink it all, he just doesn’t know when to stop. In fact he is like that with anything nice to drink – fruit juice, cans of diet coke – he will just drink it all.

Around d February 2018 I had had enough of him constantly laying in bed saying he is unwell and gave him an ultimatum. This led to him locking myself and our daughter out of our house for 2 nights, we had nothing. Luckily my friend too us in for a couple of nights.

When he finally realised what he did he agreed to go to the doctor’s. He was prescribed antidepressants as they said he was depressed. But nothing changed in fact he got worse and suffered from psychosis. Apparently the antidepressants reacted badly, so he got prescribed different ones.

To cut a very long story short I found cocaine in his wallet, I checked his bank account and he had run up loads of debt, borrowed money from his parents and took out payday loans. It was a mess. All the time I was left to pay for everything and keep a roof over our heads. He was sectioned at for a week as he had smashed up the house, threatened me on several occasions, I was constantly on the phone to the mental health team, the police and the doctors. I honestly went round in circles, I didn’t know what to do.

Eventually he gave up his bank cards and was clean for a few weeks, when he felt better he was a pleasure to be around when the cravings were bad he would wake me in the middle of the night begging me for money, asking for vodka. All the time I was trying to work a full time job and look after our daughter.

We’ve now sold our house, paid off all our debts and we are in a rented place. I’ve kept what’s left from the house sale in my account which he has no access to, but I have it in writing that the money is mine and my daughter’s.

He now has his bank cards back, and with that is using again, drinking and to top it off spending thousands in gambling.

He does go to the local drug inclusion service, but I don’t think he really wants to go there as he gets to far and then he relapses, but his relapse is not just the one occasion, it’s pretty big and he seems to cause destruction to every part of our lives. I am surprised he has managed to hold down his job, maybe because he has told them he suffers from mental health rather than addiction.

I don’t know what the future holds, but the more he does this the more i distant myself from him. Part of me wants to leave, the other part hopes he sees sense and sorts it out.

[georgia26]

Bless your heart – that is horrendous.

I think he needs rehab, a proper unit and full time help – he seems to be pretty deep and these CA/AA meetings dont help.

They didnt help my partner, I really dont know what to say, I feel so sad for you, as i know the feeling – the trust, the person you love slowly fades away.

You need to do what you think is best, walking away from someone you love is so hard but in the long run it may be best for you and your daughter.

Addiction is so sad and confusing for the person who isnt addicted, it tears lives apart doesnt it. My partner is going through Anxiety/addiction counselling at the moment he pays 60 per hour and its working.

He tried CA and the group meetings but i think it actually made him worse as they were all using.

Good luck my love xx

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