[confused23]

hi everyone,

I don’t even know where to begin! Husband is at it yet again after we were doing so good. The week before last he took aderall and last week and this week he has now taken Kratom. We had started meetings last Tuesday and when I had gotten home that day from work I could tell he was off and he just kept lying saying he wasn’t. Well after the meeting he finally came out and told me that he had taken Kratom! He was up all night barley slept etc. Well he took that Kratom drink again yesterday and blamed me for his using it. All because he had gotten off work and then I had gotten off after he was already off and I had to pick up groceries so I had texted him “wyd” mind u when I had texted that he was at the beach after work so he felt I was trying to check up on him so on his way home he said he bought it and took it because he felt I was trying to start mess. It was a huge thing last night. I told him I knew he had used something and he kept lying to me then I mentioned a drug test and his ass got up and got dressed and left to his buddies house til 10pm. He came home and I lost it and he said he took that drink and nothing else. But also told me he’s not going to live the rest of his life me accusing etc but how am I accusing when he’s actually doing it? I told him I am not the blame for his addiction he had it before I was even in the picture. I also told him he needed to learn to stop blaming others for his poor decisions and problems. I’m just really close to taking my girls and going to stay in the shelter. He emotionally abuses me and mind screws me bad when he’s doing wrong and tries to make me feel like I’m doing something wrong to justify his behavior! I couldn’t even go to work today I’m so mentally exhausted. When does it stop? When is enough, enough? I just don’t understand anymore

[bellapop]

It sounds like enough is enough 🙁 easier said than done though right? I am so sorry to be reading this and that so many of us are in such similar situations… it hurts my heart. My husband is the exact same. Blaming everything and everyone for everything… I have come to learn that he has portrayed me as an absolute nightmare to everyone. I’m truly shocked, I kind of feel like I have been married to a complete stranger for 5 years. It’s very, very sad.

 

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to offer any more guidance or advice to you, just know that you’re not alone. I’ve called in sick too many times, exhausted and broken. It’s finally time to build xx

[confused23]

Hello bellapop

thanks for the reply! And tonight I finally had to call the cops! He tore up my stuff and threw all of my clothes off the balcony and tried to make me leave with four kids when it’s so much easier for him to do so all cause I walked away from him trying to argue with me. Everything is my fault and I’m being called whore  and a bitch etc and after the police were done here my 15 year old daughter cried to him and begged him to see what he’s doing. He grabbed beers he had bought a while back and didn’t really seem to care what she had to say and blamed me and walked out! I’m scared to know what it’s gonna be like when he comes back considering everything. I just don’t know anymore I have done everything I can to help him. I am all the way in Texas away from my family and have no one here at all. I’m so lost and heart broken and just sick to my stomach.

[summerwinds]

Hello I think my mind will go bonkers

[summerwinds]

Apologies,

Im so sorry to be saying hello in these circumstances. I’m here because I’m ashamed of who I have become. For the last 20 years I have taken codeine following a long term problem with my bladder. Today I can take anywhere from 20-30 tablets a day. I have made awful choices, had huge financial implications all because I was using codeine to help me at difficult times like bereavement and stress. Decided it time to stop so going to taper as much as I can and then find a drug rehabilitation group and try and beat this. Im scared really scared.

[summerwinds]

I have been through a lot. Both my parents and brother have died, my partner left and I have been through court to fight to keep my girls. I won. They are safe. I have a home and a lot of debt. I used codeine to keep me going. I have been taking codeine for over two decades. Not sure whether to taper or jump straight off a cliff with it. Saw Gp and she said taper to 8 a day and hold it there for a while. I’m on 4 times that so it’s going to be horrendous. Please support me and keep me going. I’m scared. I’m anxious. I feel ashamed. Completely ashamed.

[summerwinds]

I’m so sorry I’m stuck on your thread

[tanga8]

Feel so much like crap is it normal for someone on coke to lie even about stupid little things. My partner has lied this past 2 nites about were he is I’ve seen were the car has been but can’t bring myself to confront him cos it just ends with the u don’t trust me speech but ATM there’s nothing to trust I know he uses just seems like he would rather be anywere else but here and I’ve never felt more alone and unwanted

 

[confused23]

Yes it’s very normal for someone on coke to lie and it only gets worse as time goes by and the more they do. My husband as jumped from meth, to coke and aderall and now he’s doing Kratom. I’m at a loss anymore to be honest I have done everything I can in my power to help him. He come home last night and I could tell he was on something and I said something and it was I swear to god I’m not on anything and I’m tired of being accused and u not trusting me blah blah and eventually he admitted to it once there was no sleeping going on last night. I’m starting to learn u just have to do what’s best for u cause at the end of the day u can only do so much and they will do whatever they want regardless

[cupcake2023]

So sorry to be reading these comments. I just want to wave a magic wand and fix every thing. My husband is the same – nothing is his fault, I’m portrayed as the nagging wife for being rude enough to wonder where my husband is at 5am!! Although he assures me he is 40+ days clean… he’s been hanging out with his coke taking friends this week…. and I’m getting shouted at for not trusting him, hmmmm! Tonight he isn’t answering calls… so likelihood is it’s going to be one of those nights where I have no sleep and go to work tomorrow morning wrecked. I keep saying to myself  ‘this is so unfair’ or ‘I really don’t deserve this’. I’m trying to support him, but constant lies and arguments make it impossible.

I can’t offer any advice or solutions, but please know that you’re not alone x

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