[rachie]

My mum has had a drink problem since I was a baby and has tried for years to stop, Iv always been supporting her from a young age. I seen her through the years and been practically a carer, financially and emotionally. Clearing up her mess from the night before and seeing to her cuts if she broke a glass. I couldn’t sleep until I knew she was,she would fall asleep with cigarettes in her hand.She’s tried to take her life twice and I honestly don’t know what to say or do anymore she’s trying to stop now and has been going to meetings but now feels she has no point in being alive, I’m the only family member that has stuck by her despite the violent past of verbal/physical. I moved out at a young age because of her drinking and I feel like Iv already lost her. She’s not the same mum I remember from being a little girl and it’s killing me emotionally. I text and ring her to every day to see if she’s ok and I can always tell when she’s been drinking, I find it hard to talk to her as I don’t know what to say anymore. One minute I feel like saying get a grip you wernt there for me when I had bad things happen in my life and till this day still haven’t told her because how can I bring it in conversation? But then I feel bad in thinking that and try to think of ways to help and I end up getting down.I’m constantly on egg shells and I always have to paint a smile on as she is so sensitive anything can trigger her drinking or moods, it’s affecting me now emotionally my moods are up and down and my fiancé and future mother in law have started to notice what can I do.?!

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