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August 27, 2020 at 10:18 pm #6115pheonixParticipant
My partner used to drink daily. Mainly influenced by family and friends, I don’t drink at all so he finds it easier not to drink while being around me.
He had said over and over he will cut down (he gave up before and just got worse)
At the beginning of august he said to me he wants to stop drinking completely except special occasions.
He didn’t drink for 12 days, then a friend kept pressuring him to go out (his friend knows he has a problem and actually just laughs it off) so my partner went out, don’t know how much he drank but I know he went to the pub and then back to the friends house with minimum 10 cans of beer.
Now he has not drank for another 7 days, he wants to make it to 4 weeks but I’m not sure how to help him, I celebrated the small steps like 7 days, 10 days ect and told him I was proud but I’m not sure what else would be helpful, I don’t want to put pressure on him,
Because he lives with his parents he finds it harder, the rent money he pays- his mum will use half of that to buy alcohol, their garage has a wall full of drinks and crates of beer near the fridge and the fridge is full. However my boyfriend has asked her to get him the alcohol free beers instead which I think is great but she hasn’t said she’s proud of him for making this decision alone. Which I think he would have needed that.
I’m worried things will go back to the way they was before, he is done so well this month (drink free for 19 days out of 27 is a massive improvement) but I was able to stay with him a lot during the summer but now his parents only will let me stay weekends so I feel he won’t get the support he needs.
The friend he went out with last week now knows his not drinking so might be supportive or just not invite him anywhere. Last night he had other friends continuously calling to get him out drinking.
Is there anything I can say or do? Do I continue the small celebrations and just hope he stays on track? Are there things I shouldn’t say to keep him on track.
He has told me before that emotionally he feels better, he sleeps better, he don’t get up continuously during the night to get water and go toilet. And I noticed his skin has a little ‘glow’ and less dark around the eyes.
His doing so well and I want to keep it like that but I still have my own priorities and need of self care (I know that sounds selfish but I’m epileptic and have a child)
Oh I should mention that we been together just over 3 years and in that time he has quit smoking and struggled with gambling. A couple of years before we met he was doing all sorts of drugs. Drinking is the last bad habit he has.
I hope that made sense!
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