Hi Julia,
If you need someone to talk to who would understand what you are coping with please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people like you who are having to deal with a loved one’s addiction.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
If you are feeling afraid of being hurt then I would suggest calling the police.
Good luck and take care.