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So basically i lapsed on coke after 6 week. Normally i drink then get coke. But this time i didnt drink but bumped in to a friend who sold it. And then i asked him for some.. god knows why.. when i had it in my hand i.thought about trucking it away. I feel so pissed off with myself.
Ive been neglecting sites and apps like this, thinking im ok now, but im not. So ill have to come on these sites everyday now looking for and helping with support.
Absolutely gutted with myself:(
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Daman, don’t be too hard on yourself.
You have been doing really well and you know it’s not going to be easy. You know yourself that you have deleted social media and don’t socialise with these people. Now you know that temptation is going to be there when you bump into friends, you can do something about it.
Don’t neglect us we are here to support you and we like to hear how you are getting on, plus you can help so many people on here too with your experiences.
Go easy on yourself.
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A lesson has been learnt and it will make you wiser. It’s not starting again it’s a journey. GF’s bound to be mad but she knows the temptations are out there only too well. Onward and upward Danman.
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Hey temptation is always there. But what you’ve done is realised it and addressing it and that makes you a stronger person!
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Hi Danman, thought you had gone quiet. Again though you seem to hate the stuff soon afterwards and annoyed with yourself. You don’t go on a binge which is good and come to your senses immediately after. It must be really hard as even though you have deleted all bad contacts etc you will always bump into someone somewhere to tempt you. You are still doing really well and just need to focus on all the positive things you have done whilst you have been clean.
I didn’t get my Mother’s Day card or text after all. I was so upset. My husband had taken our son out for lunch last Friday but didn’t talk about anything that would cause friction. I text my son last Sunday and asked if I could pick him up and take him for a ride but got no response. He seems to be focussing on seeing his kids which I suppose is good. I haven’t contacted him since and don’t think I will anymore. I think he must still be taking cocaine and feels guilty and that’s why he doesn’t want to see or speak to me.
Glad you back on track and keeping focussed for your hol in 3 months time. Even when you stay clean it would be nice for you to share as it gives others hope for their partners/family members. Your tips and advice are invaluable on this site.
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Hiya, it won’t let me reply on my post to your reply but I just wanted to say, don’t be too hard on yourself for a relapse. You’ve got this. You recognise the trigger and you didn’t go on a binge. Stick with it. You’re going to do it 🙂
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His dad will keep chipping away and sending him texts. Eventually he seems to get through to him but he didn’t ask any awkward questions when he took him out. At least I was able to ask how he looked etc, although my husband said he didn’t want to really look at him. We are both scared of saying or doing anything that will stop the contact. Both me and his dad have supported our son together and we are supporting each other continually. Like I said before my son sent me a text the week before Mother’s Day sending his love and said he had a card but didn’t do the same on the actual day. This is why I think he is still taking cocaine as he probably had some on the Saturday and so was on a come down the next day. I really don’t know I think my son was taking it not just at weekends as eventually he couldn’t hold down a job and still isn’t working.
It was lovely to get the text from him even a week early but there hasn’t been anything since. Anyway glad you are back on board ☺️
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Hi Danman,
So sorry to hear but please don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve done so well and can get back on top of this again I know.
You are such a help to other people on this site.
Take care of yourself.
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Hey, I agree with others don’t be hard on yourself. I found that when I quit it, it wasn’t so much the taking it but more the having it if that makes sense. I can relate to your situation a lot, you prob asked for it because it was an opportunity at that moment where you felt you had split second to take it or leave it. Next time you might look at it differently, I looked at it like – well I can get it, but really what’s the point. I will feel crap and low and like I’ve let myself down. And if I have money to spare for that then I should just buy something for my kids. That worked. I felt I had to retrain my thoughts. This also helped me feel like I had a choice, if you feel you have a choice you have more control.
I’ve ditched all social media, I don’t regret it and it’s helped massively.
You have the strength and inner will to do this!!! Take care
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You will get there honest, I only get the feeling every now and then. When I do I just do something else. Oh and I became addicted to my ecig instead!! Lol! I have enough to keep me busy trying to keep other half on the straight and narrow which also doesn’t help coz I think why’s he having all the fun. But then I remember what it does and realise it’s not worth it.
Don’t forget, these people sell it to make money, don’t be their easy payday….I’m done funding their lives and the bigger sharks nice fancy cars and houses.
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No probs, enjoy your day with your lad tomorrow and remember those days with your kids are the ones you live for 🙂
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Hi Danman, not much to add with regard to seeing my son but just thought I would update. He worked on a job with his dad the other day and he tried to get him to come and have lunch at our house so he could see me. He wouldn’t come and told his dad it’s because he is embarrassed and he is scared of me asking questions. I am still leaving it as so far I have done all the running. His brother is having a football party for his son and all the kids are invited so we will see whether he brings them.
Anyway hope you have a brill day with you son. Hope you find some hidden treasure ☺️
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