[kfldn]

Glad I found this site and being able to feel that other people will understand how I feel even though this was several years ago .

I lost my dad some years ago to drugs, had been an ongoing issue since I was a small child with periods of abstinence but ultimately reverted back and he was under 50 when he died.

I have issues of guilt as I was in touch with him and every day, dealing with a&e visits and long term issues . I had kind of

had enough and didn’t visit him and found he dead two days later .

I know I couldn’t have done anything but just hits me and gets a bit overwhelming sometimes . I miss him, am angry with him and with myself

[lindyloo]

Hi KFL

Welcome to the forum, where so many here are affected by a loved one’s addictions. You will never be judged and people here are supportive and kind.

I just noticed your post and wanted to say that I’m so sorry for your loss. Addiction is a terrible and evil thing to have in a family. It consumes everything and everyone. It turns your loved one into a selfish, horrible and insensitive person. All they care about is the next fix.

It is an illness that’s very hard for the to control, unless they are really strong and will seek help.

Unfortunately for some, like your dad, the need for this drug consumes their whole life. They go on a path of self destruct and push away those who love them.

Please don’t feel guilty, I’m sure you tried your best with him.

He is now out of this torment now, and I’m sure he loved you but this evil addiction was too strong for him to fight.

My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and every day is a battle for him. Thankfully he is in early recovery atm.

Take care of yourself, speak to bereavement counselling service. Icarus trust and the Adfam forum have support too.

Thinking and praying for you

Lx ❤

[Author]

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