[granvilleey]

My husband can be a lovely man and in 4 out of 5 days at the moment he is. Trouble is he is a binge drinker and doesn’t see it as a problem. He lies to himself and to everyone about it. But the problem is that at times his binges build up and whilst this hasn’t happened in almost 2 years the last time he lost his driving license, had a seizure and suffered brain damage , lost his job. On previous occasions he has combined it with gambling and we nearly lost our home. I had to take 2 jobs to pay it all off. The kids now grown up adore him and more often than not I am the bad parent who isn’t “ as much fun” as dad..

I have managed the environment to make life easier for him so that he is less likely to drink. Strong negative emotions such as stress or anger make him choose to drink and he gives me hell. I walk on eggshells.

It is like we are standing on top of beachy head, the sun is shining, the grass is green and it is a beautiful day. We could stay in the top like this all day and enjoy the view ( this is what good days are like) but my husband insists on walking to the edge of the cliff and toys with the idea of jumping off.i beg him not to. You see he has a rope tied around his waist and the other end is tied around mine and I can’t undo it. He smiles and has all the power. I have none. I need to be really nice and not upset him or he will jump and drag me over the cliff with him ????

[icarus-trust]

Hi Granvilleey

That sounds so very hard and I’m not surprised that it’s messing with your head!

You sound an incredibly strong person, holding the family together and making life easier for him. However, I imagine the worry must be exhausting and maybe you could do with a bit of support for yourself.

I work for the Icarus Trust a charity that supports people dealing with the addiction of a family member. It is very tough and often lonely so we have a team of experienced trained people and you could be allocated to one of them to talk to if you think it would help.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the very best to you.

[Author]

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