- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 11 months, 4 weeks ago by jo@adaptoxford.org.uk.
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November 27, 2023 at 12:20 am #36870Needadvice123Participant
Hi. I’m at a total loss of what to do here. I am 23. My younger half brother is 16. He is addicted to Xanax and often takes them alongside drink and other drugs.
He is diagnosed ADHD and has sever behaviour problems. He currently lives with his dad. He doesn’t go to school. He has been expelled multiple times. He is in a pupil referral unit but will not attend any sort of therepy or even the boxing/football classes offered. He will occasionally go in for a maths or English lesson but before he goes in he has extreme arguments with his dad. These arguments often escalate to violence and destruction.
He has been extremely violent towards my mother and his father before, often when under the influence, causing them to both need hospital treatment. He is currently on bail due to this violence and destruction on the condition he doesn’t go to my mother’s house.
The communication between him and his parents is practically non-existant. He will not engage with any therapy offered. He won’t talk to anyone except to be violent. He seems to have lost most of his friends. I personally haven’t spoken to him in almost a year. To be honest I’m very scared of him. He won’t engage with any adult who tries to offer him help. He just hurls insults or physically assaults them and he doesn’t seem to have any friends of his own. Most of them can’t handle the fighting and the excessive drug use.
I’m at a total loss for what to do. Most things I have read speak about asking questions and talking to the person but the communication between him and everyone else has broken down so much we can’t even talk to him. He won’t attend therepy offered by the pupil referral unit. He has no friends of his own to talk to. His life is simply getting high and fighting with anyone who tries to talk or engage with him. How can you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? How can I help my family who are all living in misery and scared of the violence? The police do nothing. This has been going on for years and it just gets worse and worse and he is getting stronger and scarier as he grows.
The only way I see this ending is him ending up in prison. Is there anything I can do to help? Any services I can contact. The police don’t seem to have any power to do anything. They arrest him, keep him over night, then he is back out again.
I’m so lost and I don’t know what I can do
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November 30, 2023 at 10:26 pm #36895stillhoping4change23Participant
Hello your brother is young enough to get help via your family GP. they will sign post you to services, do it. you cannot tackle this on your own. It will only get worse
stay strong
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December 1, 2023 at 1:18 pm #36872jo@adaptoxford.org.ukParticipant
<span style=”color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;”><span style=”font-size: 12pt;”>Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support program is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will </span>endeavor<span style=”font-size: 12pt;”> to respond within 24 hours. </span></span><span style=”font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: #1155cc;”>https://adaptoxford.org.uk/<wbr />the-icarus-programme/</span>
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December 1, 2023 at 1:18 pm #36874jo@adaptoxford.org.ukParticipant
<span style=”color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;”>Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. </span><span style=”font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #1155cc;”>https://adaptoxford.org.uk/<wbr />the-icarus-programme/</span>
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