Thank you for sharing your story. I can see what a worry it is for carrying that information about your dad’s cocaine use without being able to talk to your family.
If you would like to talk with someone who would understand please contact us at Icarus Trust as we are a charity that offers help to people dealing with addiction in their family. One of our Family Friends,would talk with you if you get in touch and may be that will help you to know what to do next.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Take care and all the best.