[yellowdeer]

So I broke up with my boyfriend because he couldn’t stop smoking crack and constantly was messaging many different women all the time. (Really gross things and sending nudes to them, I caught him a few times over the years) crack has been a big problem for him for a while now. He always promised he would.stop, get help or go to meetings and wouldn’t go after a couple times.

He has two children from a previous relationship who are 10 and 11 years old and we just had a baby and I am pregnant again. I have fallen in love with my stepkids and tried so long to keep it together. But all his promises were empty and I finally kicked him out of the house over 3 weeks ago. I can never go back, I dont want my life to possibly ever be in that state ever again and it hurts. I look at any pictures of us and there is always a negative memory associated with it.

He has been in rehab for over a week (he is in there for 90 days) and I talked to him on the phone for a second time today. When I talked to him today I just kind of lost it and told him off. Told him not to phone me and that I need space. I feel bad because he is in rehab and trying to do better, but I just don’t want to hear anything he has to say anymore. I’m full of hormones and regretting how mad I was at the time but he really fucked with my head over the years together.

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