My Father is denying being an alcoholic

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    • #5792
      jopdm123
      Participant

      My father is 72 years old, him and my mum have been together for over 40 years. Myself and my brothers had a great upbringing as children. We are all adults now.

      Well point of this is tonight I drove over to my mum and dads (they live in the middle of nowhere) to use their big bins. When I was driving up I noticed my dads car Parker on the track road. He was drinking straight vodka smoking a cig. He tried to deny it but I finally caught him with my own eyes. He has been drinking for years ago (I would say about 5 years) but it’s always straight vodka or whiskey. I have no idea how much he is drinking, it was a quarter bottle today but my aunt has seen him buying half bottles in the shops. None of us know how much he is drinking daily. My mum ignores it now because he manipulates her and makes her feel bad. He has completely destroyed my mum. He mentally abuses her every day but my mum won’t leave.

      I cried loads over this tonight to my partner as I feel so helpless.

      If he denies it and doesn’t want to admit he has a problem what am I meant to do? How can I help him? He’s an old man who has suffered multiple heart attacks. He was just diagnosed with angina 2 days ago and has a spray for his angina attacks. I fear he is going to kill himself through alcohol.

      When I tried to speak to him tonight he just keeps repeating himself, arguing with me, denying it, making me feel guilty for catching him. I don’t know what to do anymore and it’s breaking my heart.

    • #16762
      willp
      Participant

      You could try a counter-intuitive approach by helping him to enjoy and control alcohol a bit better. This would be less confrontational than exposing the thing he is trying to keep secret. Have a look at notalcoholicbut.com and see if this might be helpful for you – and him.

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