Hi Woody,
Its very brave of you to share your story. Please contact The Icarus Trust if you think that would help you to find out what services are out there for you. We are a charity and you could use our free service and talk with one of our ‘family Friends’ who are trained and experienced in what you are going through.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck with everything.