[joanna46]

I am at a loss, I dont even know what my son ‘uses’… he is almost 20, the brightest happiest boy ever….and then weed….which increased in strength and use, probably I see now from about 16 yrs old….the last 2 years going AWOL 5 times, returning filthy and starving and penniless…me helping and taking him home….he gets a job and then payday comes… he disappears… reappearing having spent the LOT….looking wasted…..not turning up for work and getting the sack…. this last time I opened my eyes and feel it cannot be just weed…his close mates have all left him, he was sacked from a great job where they loved him and he left home with a rucksack….that was 2 weeks ago, I know he is homeless now…penniless, jobless, friendless…still lying….he has all the numbers to get help but denies any problem…..and I just had the 4am visit from the police…not to tell me he is dead or arrested but that his motorcycle has been found abandoned in a remote spot….I thought I was going to die of shock when i saw them on the doorstep…what is worse, them knocking or him begging to come home? I cant have him here, I work full time in a profession and I am exhausted….sadly, my ‘mum’ genes will not switch off so i am in constant turmoil. I see now reading all your blogs etc that this will probably not end well and that a long road is ahead…..Im not sure why I feel it so important to know what he takes…part of accepting it I suppose….I admit now that ‘a bit of weed’ felt manageable…this doesnt… x

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