- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by joanie59.
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October 18, 2021 at 12:43 pm #7052joanie59Participant
I’m 69 years old and have been dealing with my sons addiction for many years
I’m at the end of my tether now
Feeling exhausted constantly upset and anxious
He lives 160 miles from where I am I having been traveling up and down the country all year
Just trying to keep him working
He is fine when I’m with him doesn’t drink but as soon as I leave he goes on a bender
His health isn’t great he had a hip replacement in February
He stopped taking his pain killers and took to heavy drinking
3 months after the op he got drunk fell down the stairs and displaced the hip and broke his femur
A and e were more worried about his heart rate and breathing and couldn’t operate until he was stable
He was on hospital for 3 weeks due to pneumonia as well as everything else
I don’t want to write a long post
But have so much to say
J
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October 18, 2021 at 3:34 pm #25230lindylooParticipant
Hi Joanie, welcome to the forum, this is a great place to vent and seek support and advice from others who are in similar positions.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that your son’s addiction is causing anxiety and stress.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and over the years has caused our family a lot of pain and distress.
Thankfully he is in early recovery and doing okay atm.
I usually post on the Theresa thread. There are several of us mums with sons with addictions. Everyone is so understanding and supportive. Just look at the heading ‘share your story ‘ and read the Theresa thread.
The forum has a homepage offering support and advice and also the Icarus trust posts here too. Drugfam has a counselling service too I believe. No need to feel alone in this nightmare.
Please look after yourself Joanie. Confide in a close friend or relative or keep posting here.
Take care,
Lx
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October 22, 2021 at 8:37 am #25298joanie59Participant
Thank you Lindyloo
I’m having trouble navigating this site
I can’t fine the thread you suggested
But will keep trying
My son has been with me for the last 3 weeks he’s sober and working from here
But is going home today
He has been very difficult and does a great job of making me feel uncomfortable in my own home
We had to bring him here after his last binge as I needed to be home
I have had breast cancer and my annual check up was due also had flu jab apt
The stress has been unbearable
He through up all the way home in the car
It took over 5 hours
So it was a good few days to recover
He has a week chest from the drinking
And needed antibiotics
As usual it’s all about him
My partner of 35 years is an absolute rock but this episode has made us row a lot I don’t know what to do
How to handle things when he goes I’m constantly checking my phone to see if he has been on WhatsApp
He has days off next week to visit his daughter and her baby he let her down on going for the latest binge
Her husband has recently left her
He is having an affair and taking cocaine
A nicer man you couldn’t wish to meet
Kind funny they had been together 10 years
Obviously I’m worried about her but she lives even further away
How do I handle him from a distance ?
It’s my birthday next week we are due to go to London for a few days
I feel exhausted and scared to go for fear of what he will be doing
There are only people on this sight that would understand
Jb
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October 22, 2021 at 11:12 am #25304lindylooParticipant
Hi Joanie, you poor thing, no wonder you’re exhausted!
It is exhausting and mentally draining looking after a loved one with addictions. I’m sorry to hear about your health issues with cancer too. I do hope that things will improve for you. It helps to share your story here.
When you log into the website, there are 3 headings – Share your story, Drugs alcohol and mental health, and Bereavement. Your story is on the Drugs and alcohol one. Click onto Share your Story one and scroll down until you see the Theresa thread. I feel that I am amongst friends who are so kind and understanding despite their own difficult circumstances.
Our sons are all at different stages in their addiction but thankfully we can support each other.
I hope you have a nice time in London, a chance to switch off, hopefully you’ll have a lovely birthday.
Try not to worry, the addicts prayer begins: God grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change….works for us parents too!
I hope your son finds the strength to fight his battle, the AA and CA fellowship groups have been a great support to my son. Hopefully your son will seek support when he is ready.
Sending you hugs, stay strong Joanie.
Lx ❤
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October 22, 2021 at 2:53 pm #25307nanny-gerParticipant
Hi Joanie59, welcome and thank you for sharing. What a totally exhausting and stressful situation for you. As always, Lindyloo has offered strong words of comfort. I regularly sign into the ‘Theresa’ forum as described by Lindyloo; you will be able to navigate with a bit of time. You are not alone, we are supporting each other. I have endured the horrors associated with my son’s addiction (prison/child protection etc (all truly horrible and heartwrenching) ; so many of us have similar stories and experiences that enable us to reach out and support each other. Enjoy your birthday as much as you call. Very important that you take care of yourself. Sending you strength
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November 25, 2021 at 1:01 am #25833joanie59Participant
Hi all
Things have become much worse
My son ended up back in hospital while I was in London celebrating my birthday
He was supposed to go to his daughters
But drank 18 bottles of wine instead
He has had gastroenteritis they stabilised him and send him home
Where he drank even more
We arrived back here on Friday where I washed him dressed him an got him in to see his gp
Who was helpful I said he’s self harming and needs urgent mental health help
He’s sober now and finally eating
But in a bad state very frail
It’s like Groundhog Day
Mmm only 4 weeks until Christmas
Still no call from the mental health team
I am exhausted
I’ve left the family that I love and love me to care for this user
Think it might be me that needs mental health help
He’s got me running around shopping for food he can eat getting sick notes from the dr and watching crap on tv with him
What can I do Joanie
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November 25, 2021 at 1:02 am #25834joanie59Participant
Think I’ve replied instead of posted sorry
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