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Dear cf1980,
I’m so sorry for you…unfortunately I absolutely understand your situation. My husband was an alcoholic and we were together for 5 years. I have a son, who was 4 when we eventually had to leave. My husband died of alcohol poisoning in 2012.
Anyhow, it’s about you right now and your situation. My advice would be that however much you love him, you must know that this must be making you ill, possibly killing you?! I eventually had to leave the family home with my son because as much as I loved my husband… this is alcoholism. The condition gets progressively worse and all the focus will be on him, but you are a victim in this….If you have the financial means ( you don’t mention children ), then make plans to leave him, get out of the relationship, move. There is a great deal of pity out there for the Addicts, but I understand the anger that you must be carrying right now. It has affected me for years and society is not recognising that Addicts destroy people around them as well. My concern is for you… the hardworking person, paying all the bills, carrying the load!
Addicts are essentially selfish, wreckless people. He is with you because you are strong. I used to describe it as ‘ I feel like I’m wearing a lead overcoat and he is dragging me down, drowning me. I have to be healthy and sane for my son. If I don’t take it off………I’ll go down with him!! You sound like a normal, decent person.
YOU deserve better! I’m afraid that he won’t change. You are strong enough to get out of this. Wishing the best for you.x
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