[tired-and-weary]

This feels like a betrayal to my daughter but there really is nowhere else to go. My beautiful, sweet, blue eyed baby girl turned into a deceitful, lying, thief around 8 years ago, when she was 18. We did not realize that she was addicted to heroin although we knew that her partner was. The pieces of burnt foil, the stench, the pens all over the place, gave the game away, but she always denied it was her, always said it was him. Then baby number 1 came along, she was living with us at the time, with our other 2 children in the house too. Never dreamed that her behaviour was due to heroin addiction, thought it was due to post natal depression and the fact her partner and her were going through a bad patch. Then things went missing, money, jewellery, things that I had for years, then I caught her, trying to score in front of her sleeping baby. Cannot describe the pain I felt. After a few years, many arguments and the total loss of trust, she moved out, she was on a rehab programme and taking subutext, she then fell for her 2nd baby. Once again she swore she was not using and that it was all down to him, everything started all over again and when her son was born, she went back on the rehab programme. All the time we supported her, the arguing was a waste of time, so a different approach of trying to understand and empathy kicked in. More stuff went missing, more lies, more tears, more begging for forgiveness, then baby number 3 was on the way. We found out her partner (the same partner) had been assaulting her, beating her, in front of the children, he was arrested and fined. He then got a custodial sentence for possession of drugs. Social services became involved, my daughter was sent on all sorts of courses to help her identify controlling and abusive behaviour in others, I ended up paying for psychotherapy and she convinced everyone she was through with him. She has been “clean” for months, although I know this is not the case. He was released and within hours they were back together, more lies, no shame, no conscience. We have spent thousands on her to get her better, we have brought up her children, we have tried to keep him away from her. Everything has failed. I now feel there is nothing more to do, than to cut her out of our lives. I am dying inside as I will not see my beloved grandchildren, they are already learning to lie and cover up for their shameful mother. My beautiful, sweet, blue eyed baby girl, has evolved into a selfish, thieving, lying woman who has shattered our lives. I just cannot forgive anymore.

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