[batthall3]

I think I just need some reassurance based on actual experience.

My daughter has told us about her level of alcohol dependency. She admits to needing help. Since the beginning of September term she has struggled and has been referred to student counselling, and then – because of her alcohol dependency – to an addiction service local to her halls. That has not really worked out – she was assigned key worker who has not yet met with her, and she has been to a couple of female only talking groups but tells me she has not spoken yet (it seems like a massive ‘ask’ to join a group and speak without the support of a worker).

I saw all of this as positive – but, following a meltdown this week at home when she told us about her level of drinking and that she wanted to control it – we decided to book some CBT sessions for her – with her consent. They start next week.

She tells us she drinks a bottle of wine a night, on top of pub drinking. If anything, I assume she is under-estimating – or under reporting the level.

I’m now in a constant state of high anxiety – I am not sure how to cope with this situation and would welcome any feedback from parents, or students who have faced similar challenges.

I’m pretty sure she is losing confidence in her ability to do her course – she is not happy at all – but is increasingly belligerent as I get increasingly anxious.

I’m feeling out of my depth.

[trainer28]

I have no experience of this I’m sorry but just wanted to ask if this has only started to become a problem since starting university? Maybe there could be a way of postponing her course to take any pressure off and deal with this problem first and foremost?

The CBT sounds like a good idea.

[batthall3]

In hindsight it started earlier – although I am sure it has intensified in recent months. I have suggested various options for next academic year. In a perfect world I’d bring her home and help her be healthy – but, I think we are were we are at the moment – she is very resistant to coming back and is determined to stay in London – so I think its probably best to respect that at the moment, although believe me, I’d kidnap her tomorrow if I could!

[trainer28]

I have a teenage daughter myself and know what you mean! That must be so difficult for you.

Living with an addict, I understand how hard it is to feel so helpless, it sounds like you’re being as open and available as possible without judging her or being angry with her which is positive.

It sounds like she wants help so maybe you could look for an alternative alcohol service in London where she is That is better than the one she’s already been to. Some are better than others!

I wish you all the best and hope that you can get some help from someone who’s been in a similar situation

[icarus-trust]

Hello,

Thank you for sharing your daughter’s situation. It is very hard not to feel out of your depth and anxious when dealing with this. It’s so hard.

Perhaps you would like to contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity set up to support people,like yourselves, who are dealing with the addiction of a family member. We have specially trained and experienced people who you could talk with if you get in touch. They would understand what you are going through and would offer reassurance and support. May be talking would help your anxiety levels.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

Wishing you and your family all the best.

[batthall3]

Thank you Icarus Trust – I have made contact with your organisation and have a telephone discussion in the diary for next week. Thank you for being so helpful and attentive.

[icarus-trust]

You’re very welcome. I hope you find it helpful.

Good luck.

[Author]

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