[northern-lass]

My son is an addict ( ketamine) with physical damage that’s serious .

How do family members deal with the emotions of wanting to be there for them (while he explores how to get clean ) and feeling like I now don’t have a life of my own .

I’m scared of not being there when he needs me to be there but scared also that I’m just being played .

I’m full of hope one minute , then it’s gone as he goes backwards again .

[danman83]

How old is he? I think you need to keep reasuuring him he can stop it.. is he getting help?

And like you say, make sure hes adamant that he wants to stop. Because you dont want to be the only one trying.. is he having it everyday?

[cathy12345]

Hi had to re register as forgot to save password .

He is 34 adamant he wants to stop but won’t listen to professionals .

Others who have had less physical damage tell him he can just stop , sadly his damage means he needs medical help to stop as the pain is too great so he keeps lapsing .

And all the time the damage increases , it’s heartbreaking at times but I will support him of course , I am seriously struggling emotionally though.

[cathy12345]

And yes it’s every day several times a day . I think he’s done 2 days without but he is then in distress so go right back to it

[danman83]

Well your in the right place here for help, support and guidance.

Am a bit lost on the damage your talking about.. what damage has he done or being done??

Is he on cocaine as well?

For a start he needs to delete everyone he knows who sell drugs, or take them out of his phone. Delete his fb account.

Is he working? Does he live on his own? Kids? Gf?

[cathy12345]

Hi thanks for responding

Damage is K Bladder ( very likely to lose it )

He lives in house share , no job now and no gf no kids

10 yr plus drug habit / mostly so called party drugs

Used to be active , adventurous , well travelled etc

Wants to get clean / back to work , back in control but failing to commit after connecting with help

I am struggling with the yo-yo of it all .

Not taking anything else as far as I know

[dnanon]

Oh Cathy, I really feel for you. Your son’s addiction to ketamine seems to have had devastating physical effects. I think you are doing all you can by offering your support but it really soundslike he does need professional and medical help. You can only do so much and you still have to live your own life. Are there any support groups for parents near where you can get some help for yourself?

[danman83]

Sorry for the questions just trying get a better understanding.

Bloody hell.. he must of had a lot to lose his bladder. Would you let him live with you to get help?

Tell him download the app.. pocket rehab its great. And its were all addicts get together online and talk about there problems and ex addicts support other people

He obviously wants to quit or is telling you. But he now needs to cut everyone off apart from close family.. are these people in his house share taking stuff aswell?? Because he wont get off it if they are.. hope your ok anyway

[cathy12345]

DNAnon and Danman83 thank you both for responding .

Thankfully I have just started with a group locally that may help me get through this , guess I’m just really struggling today .

It was helpful to put it into words here ,

Thank you

[danman83]

I dont get why people take ketermine. Kids at my sons school take it.but hes

Not allowed to go anywere near them.

Just let your steam off on here if you are struggling. There are some really nice and decent women on here. Am sure they would swap numbers and talk to you and vice versa. Thats how this all works for addicts. To talk to someone with there problems. And i guess its the same for people who have a loved one needing help and the family member.

[jennifer68]

Dear Cathy I am sorry for what your going through I feel your pain it’s unbearable I am going through similar hope you find some help on this site x

[cathy12345]

Thank you for your kind words Jennifer68 , I hope you do too x

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