[debc]

Hi Cali111,

Welcome to the Forum.

You will feel better for just sharing your story and getting it off your chest.

Obviously your Husband is an Addict, I don’t know whether he has admitted this to you, but all the signs are there, the money, the lies, not coming home.

I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine, and of course this is where the money goes, it’s a very expensive hobby.

He will only get help when he wants too, and if he wants too. It’s an evil drug and changes them into,people we don’t recognise, but it is also a living hell, which i wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Have you got close friends or family you can talk too?

I know it might sound harsh but knowing what I know now, I would run for the hills and concentrate on yourself, hopefully there is no children involved.

Look after yourself first and keep in touch on the Forum, read the other threads, there are some very sad stories.

Take care.

Dx

[cali111]

Thank you for replying. He is so sly in telling me he is not using. Any time I have brought it up he has gotten very defensive and been very quick to say no and make me feel crazy for asking. But I already know he had been, why would it have stopped now that he’s not at home?

There are no children involved. But I am completely grieving the loss of my husband. He calls and tries to act like everything is normal.. always asking are you okay? Like obviously I’m not. Still says he’s going to pay all his share of bills etc which he has so far (1 month).

Im just having such a hard time moving forward without the answers I desire. I feel so left in the dark like how could someone end a marriage with “I just don’t see it happening” when a few months ago I couldn’t even dream of this.

I wake up every day having to realize this is reality. I am going to my doctor today as my stress and anxiety and crying has been out of control. I have lost 20 pounds in a couple of months. He hasn’t commented at all when it’s quite noticeable.

I think he is lying about where he is staying when he says it’s between a couple friends couches. I think he’s with the women I found messages with. If I could just know it would help me move forward.

He seems worried about me but still so selfish, hasn’t taken ANY accountability for his actions or apologized ONCE.

I just go in circles of is this drugs, another woman, or has he just changed. Probably all.

Thanks to anyone who has any advice. Much love.

[debc]

Hi Calli111,

Hope you got on well at the Doctors, and they have given you something to ease the stress etc.

It’s very frustrating when you can’t get the answers you rightfully deserve. Is there a family member you can confide in or a good friend? I’d be lost without my friends to talk to.

The Icarus Trust is another place which you could contact for help, they sometimes post on the Forum too.

Keep in touch on here and take care.

Dx

[cali111]

Yes I have family and friends to confide in thankfully. When this all started I had no idea it was anything to do with drugs so was just so completely confused. Unfortunately my family and best friends are in another country as I immigrated to the USA to marry my husband so can still be very lonely. Thanks again for the reply.

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