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Hi Louise,
Thank you for posting and sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you feel that you are in a dark place. Please remember you are not a horrible person, but having to cope with a very difficult situation.
I work for The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people just like yourself who are struggling to support a loved one with addictive behaviours. if you think it would help get in touch and you could talk with one of our ‘Family Friends.’ They are very experienced and talking with one of them might begin to help you to answer some of your questions and let you know what other support is out there for yourself as well as your partner.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best to you.
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