Thank you for posting.
If you would like to talk with someone about your worries and who would understand please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers help and support to people dealing with addiction in their family. If you contact us you would be put in touch with one of our Family Friends who are well trained and experienced. Hopefully talking would help you to answer your questions.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best.