[delilahd]

I’ve discovered that my 21 year old Son has a cocaine addiction. I’m not sure how long it’s been going on but he developed insomnia and psychosis, he lost a very good job. I was fooled for a few months thinking this was all related to stress, until I found the evidence on my bathroom floor. He has since found a new job with a very good salary, working remotely from home. I know he has run up two credit cards and taken a loan to fund his habit. I speak to him openly about his addiction and he promises to stop but he can’t. He uses for 3-4 nights in a row, keeping everyone awake, my husband is a teacher and I work in a children’s home and it’s affecting our daily work, he said he can go 2-3 days without taking anything and then has to use again. I frequently go into his room and see the remnants on his iPad! This is now affecting my younger daughter and I have had to give him an ultimatum either get help or move out. He visited a local drug service who offered him group sessions but he won’t do this as he said it won’t help him. Is there anywhere else he can go to for help, maybe virtual support groups? I can’t afford to pay for rehab, even if he wanted to go. Am I right making him leave or will this make his addiction worse!

[danman83]

Hiya, hope you are OK? I’m 2 month clean from cocaine tommorow. I’ve been using 11 year and I’m 37 now. I’d say for the last 5 to 6 I’ve been doing my best to quit. I really can’t stand the downers anymore feeling depressed and suicidal for days.

The psychosis is from not sleeping enough and most I know end up getting sectioned from this. With him using days on end I can understand why he has it.

I finally joined CA anonymous 2 month ago when I last relapsed. I always said I would never go. I hate speaking in front of people, and I dnt need it, and here I am.. 2 month clean. It’s working wonders on me, I have a sponsor, I’m working the steps. Do you know anything about this??

I speak to other addicts daily and this is apart of recovery. It really does help. If he goes to CA website and meetings there are online meetings all day and night. He just needs to install zoom. Tell him don’t be put off by the god aspect it’s not all god, it’s about believing in something that you think is a higher power to you. So mine is basically good energy and bad in life, like law of attraction, karma. Things like that. It can be anything you want. It just helps praying each day and meditating.

But.. The main thing is your son has to want this himself and want to quit him self. If he does. He needs delete all dealers numbers, friends who use, no drinking anymore. This is a big trigger for coke. Delete social media. You can message dealers on there.

If he does leave his addiction may get worse as he will just feel.. Poor me. Might as well get on it. That’s how addicts minds work. We use every excuse going to use, cause arguments for no reason as an excuse to use.

But it’s your house, so he should obey your rules or get out. So I’d start off and lay some rules and then tell him get help, prove to you he is trying. But all this is down to what you want, he can’t keep abusing your house especially with your daughter in the house.

I’d have a good sit down with him and see what he wants, and you lay down the rules or tell him he will be out. Hope this helps

[delilahd]

Hi

Well done on your achievement!

I am sure that it’s someone in my son’s friendship group that is selling to him, I caught them putting a bag of it under the wheel of his car when he had asked me to take his car keys and not let him out. It makes a lot of sense to delete all contacts and social media – he is always on his mobile. I have sent him the link for CA but as yet he hasn’t looked. I don’t know too much about the process but if he is prepared to investigate this I am sure it would help. The biggest issue is that he thinks that he is ‘not like the people who go to group meetings’, he is lying to himself and everyone else. He has a lovely girlfriend who has no idea of his addiction.

I have had a long chat with him and told him if he does not help himself then he will have to leave, he then turned this around saying I was the bad person and that I was throwing him out. I’ve told him to think about what I have said and I will try again when he is calm. He asked me to take his bank cards and his keys as he wants to stop, but I believe he is saying this as it is what I want to hear, because as soon as I have to leave the house for work he is going out and getting more.

I am worried that him leaving will make him worse, but also staying will just enable him to carry on!

A long road ahead – but I am determined to help him, if he lets me.

Good luck with your road to recovery and thanks for your advice.

[danman83]

If he’s using that much in the week. He is like the people in the meetings. I used just on Fridays and I’m in there. It’s for all types of addictions. He’s only young still, but it will just get worse for him if he continues. Most addicts have to hit there rock bottom then finally admit we need real help.

I’ve done that with the car wheel, my dealer leaving it on it. We as addicts will find ways. That’s a good idea with his keys and phone. But can go on his laptop, message someone on fb, dropped off. It’s about cutting every possible way of getting or trigger off. And implementing new hobbies in our life. Ye you are in a tough situation. If he ends up on his own he will do what he wants when he wants, and could get worse. But just do the best you can as any mother would. I know its hard for you. My mum was crying her eyes out when I told her.

Just make sure he’s putting the effort into quit and this stuff will make you mentally ill as well with the stress.. So look after your self aswell ❤️

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