[hox]

You are not alone. There are plenty of us with the same problem. I see the same pattern with my husband, late nights and not wanting to do anything with me. Christmas day was spent being ignored and humiliated in front of people who work for him. Then Christmas night he went out to a friends house where there is plenty of drink and coke. He then spends the day after ill in bed with ‘flu’ etc.

The thing is I can’t do anything about it, he says he doesn’t have an addiction. It is hard to get off coke even if your husband admits to taking it.

I also worry like you about him dying. When he’s out, I think he could be involved in an accident. When he gets home, he locks himself away and tries to sleep it off I hear him gasping for breath and coughing uncontrollably.

When they are on the coke they do not care about anyone or anything else. They can completely change in personality and only feel emotion when they want to or if they have to.

We can only help when they ask for it and let them know we will be there for them . I felt alone too until I found endless support on here.

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