[seekingsupport]

I’m the partner of an addict. We’ve been together for six months. I knew that she was an addict when I started dating her. I have a terrible guilt that I’m enabling her or contributing to her comfort in addiction. I don’t know how to help her and i feel very alone in the whole thing. My therapist told me that a partner staying through addiction can actually decrease the likelihood of desire to get clean. And I think about that every day. My girlfriend has begged me to leave her before and even broke up with me once because of her addiction. I don’t know what to do.

[nova1985]

My husband is a alcoholic and since June things have been terrible, I have left but come back because his dad died and promised things would change and he will get the help, he has not gone to the meetings as he promised and nothing has improved. He lost his job and now a few months away from most likely loosing the house.

[eddie123]

<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;”>Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are struggling, I know of a fantastic charity that would love to support you . They are based in Oxford. Please have a look on their website – you can also fill in a referral form. </span>https://adaptoxford.org.uk<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;”>. I know numerous people who have had support from them and done exceedingly well. They offer free treatment.</span>

[eddie123]

<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;”>Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are struggling, I know of a fantastic charity that would love to support you . They are based in Oxford. Please have a look on their website – you can also fill in a referral form. </span>http://www.adaptoxford.org.uk<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;”> I know numerous people who have had support from them and done exceedingly well. They offer free treatment.</span>

[jessienathanjoshjoedavid@gmail.com]

I found your post to be the most helpful advice I’ve seen this far. Thank you so much. This is so hard. But there’s hope, and I’m not letting this disease win.

[Boredofit89]

 

My addict partner has just started a lengthy prison sentence down to his addiction. He only told me the night before what exactly it was he was addicted to as before this he told me it was alcohol and cocaine.  He told me finally it was crack. 

I’m struggling to come to terms with this but don’t want to give up on him.

your words have really helped me today

thankyou 

[TheShrub]

I would like it if people with alcohol/substance use disorder learned the family member’s experience too. We read everything we can to try and learn why people are the way they are, we go on CRAFT training and we try and be the best we can. We are often carers who are given little understanding or support.

Our experiences are so often neglected (I mean if you look at this forum there’s loads of people with substance use disorder talking about their experiences for a supposed charity dedicated to family members) and I would love it for policy makers, NHS, social care, our loved ones, to learn about us. How absolutely devastating it is. How people with lived experience of addiction could learn to listen to us and our pain. We forget who we are and become totally absorbed by the addiction just as much. Where the hell are our support groups that you could attend so you could understand our situation, our therapy? Why are we left behind to remember everything?

I understand you’re trying to help, and it’s empathetic enough, as well as it being useful for others. But I don’t know, it just got to me. Like I’m a bit fed up of being told to empathise with the loved one, when so often that isn’t reciprocated for so many of us. This forum doesn’t feel like a safe space at all and I joined thinking it would be.

 

 

[jamesb]

Not sure if this will help any of the recent posts I’ve seen.

 

I would like to say aswell incase anyone feels disrespected. I will never make excuses for people like myself who have been through or are battling addiction. I know how much hurt alot of people using this forum have been put through and anything I write is me trying to give an insight.

 

I know I’ve had a few comments on some of my older posts from People who felt I was making excuses for addicts. I hope no one is offended by my posts.

If you have any questions please feel free to reach out

 

Stay strong

James x

[Fiona1999]

<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi James,</p>
I hope you are doing good!

My boyfriend has been in rehab now and at first I was really anxious, I read online that rehabs wants the addicts to be be single for their recovery but I thought that only applied to people who are single not the ones in a relationship.

Now 3 weeks apart from each other.. he called and said he thinks it is better to walk his path alone but he isn’t sure because on the other side he wants to be with me, he’s still gonna be in rehab for another 6 weeks. I asked him if he is really sure about his decision because what if he changes his mind again 6 weeks later? He said he doesn’t know, nothing is certain to him, he wants to be with me but also doesn’t want to disappoint me so think its also better to be alone.

Do you think he’s even knowing what he’s talking about right now? Or is he just scared of the new emotions he’s feeling while in rehab?

Thanks!

[tanga8]

<p style=”text-align: left;”>So much of this makes sense. I really wish I knew if my partner really doesn’t care about me or our family of if it’s the coke doing it it’s like he has no emotion or feeling towards me watsoever but seems fine with others</p>

[Author]

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