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Hi Halo I’m sorry about your son and your story is all too familiar. How you were is how my husband has been. He struggles terribly with the fact his son is a drug addict, they were quite close when he was younger. I’m glad you’ve got strategies in place I just wish there was one big fix for all of them. I too am strong but sometimes I lose my shit because he doesn’t seem to care about the sacrifices we’ve made for him emotionally and financially until he has a massive breakdown like he did last week. My son has lost all his friends, his marriage and home and only has me his dad and his girlfriend close to him so we are the ones who hurt the most when he relapses like he did 2 weeks ago. Even having his son who is 3 now didn’t stop him. I don’t know where it will all end maybe the beta blockers will help but we’ll still be here as always picking up the pieces because he’s our son. Stay strong x
Hi Georgie as previously mentioned you have come to the right place. We are all mums going through or coming through the hell you’re in at the moment. Nobody judges and we can be as open and honest with each other because we’re all wearing the same t-shirt. I’m not familiar with Ket but from your story get that it’s no different to any other drug, my son is a 33 year old cocaine addict. Please just hang on in there, you are not the reason he takes it but he will blame you and verbally abuse you reducing you to tears. What you have to remember is that this is not your son it is the drugs talking. Its so hurtful and upsetting I know but as mentioned earlier talk to a councellor it will help. My husband talks to a drugs project councellor, I talk to my very close friends at work, you have to talk to someone to get you through this.
My son has been prescribed beta blockers now which helps with the frenzies, cravings and anxiety that cocaine causes. The one prescribed propranolol is known to have helped cocaine dependents. If you read back through my posts you’ll see what an awful time we’ve had of it, the emotional blackmail, the begging for money, the vile verbal abuse we’ve had, the list goes on.
Anyway I hope you stay on this site it really does help. Stay strong xx
So glad your son has gone to a meeting again Deb, thats definitely progress. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to completely relax again. We’ve told our son that there is no trust now that’s well and truly gone down the swanney. Xxx
Thanks Lindyloo. It really is such a sad state of affairs that none of us ever imagined when they were at primary this is where they would end up. I’m glad your son was talked down from using again but it is a battle that will be with them for a long time if not forever. Stay strong everyone ❤❤
Kate that’s our problem we love them and we will never stop ????????
I’ve thankfully got my grandson too and my daughter and my 4 mth old grandson too. Soon I’ll be back to work after the summer hols so another distraction. It is hard and really you just want to turn your back on them and say your bed you lay in it but I can’t. Oh well keep posting to save our sanity ❤❤
Hi Deb C I’m so sorry to hear your son has relapsed but at least he’s admitted it again and attending meetings. My son does see a councellor and he says he tells her everything but I just don’t know how we will cope with it but we have to. I’m doing ok atm but my husband who was very strong and supportive yesterday is crumbling today. Look after yourself, praying that our boys make it through this time. Xxx
Oh it did go through, it kept saying it wouldn’t submit.
Thank you Kate, it’s such a release to be able to talk on here with people that know and don’t judge. I hope each day is getting a little better for you to bare ❤❤❤
Oh it did go through, it kept saying it wouldn’t submit.
Thank you Kate, it’s such a release to be able to talk on here with people that know and don’t judge. I hope each day is getting a little better for you to bare ❤❤❤
So you know that roller coaster ride we all live on? Well we’ve just plummeted down to the bottom at a speed of knots! Once again my son has let us a down badly. He went to the caravan for the weekend with his girlfriend her son and his son but was too wiped out to do Jack shit! We all thought that he was trying to prove himself so he could move in with her at the end of the year. No chance of that now! It seems he used on Thursday, payday, and spent most of the weekend in bed coming down. He was also vile to her and her son on the way home in the car so she quite rightly finished it, again!! So yesterday he got to work and had a breakdown and I mean breakdown. His dad talked him into coming here to calm down and talk which he did and he stayed the night. I have never seen him cry and be as remorseful as he was yesterday. Normally it’s crying and begging for money but not this time it was different. He hasn’t asked for money although he hasn’t got any as once again he’s spent his wages. We’ve told him he will have to give up the flat and move back here. I know what you’re thinking stupid idea but yesterday he was full of regret and can’t believe how he treated his girlfriend and her son saying it was like an out of body experience. I know that’s it for her now as she’s protecting her son. He’s now on the sick from work after yesterday and he knows he could quite possibly lose his job now but I think that would be a good thing. He said this is even worse than when he lost his wife and house and his whole life has been a lie. He’s never given up when we all thought he had. He’s just lied and lied and conned people into believing he had. So now I guess we’ll be on a slow ride to the top of that rollercoaster again. By the way, my husband who’s nerves are shot away with the whole damn debacle was absolutely amazing yesterday and so strong for our son although he was dying inside. Wishing you all big love and strength hoping that you are all ok ❤So you know that roller coaster ride we all live on? Well we’ve just plummeted down to the bottom at a speed of knots! Once again my son has let us a down badly. He went to the caravan for the weekend with his girlfriend her son and his son but was too wiped out to do Jack shit! We all thought that he was trying to prove himself so he could move in with her at the end of the year. No chance of that now! It seems he used on Thursday, payday, and spent most of the weekend in bed coming down. He was also vile to her and her son on the way home in the car so she quite rightly finished it, again!! So yesterday he got to work and had a breakdown and I mean breakdown. His dad talked him into coming here to calm down and talk which he did and he stayed the night. I have never seen him cry and be as remorseful as he was yesterday. Normally it’s crying and begging for money but not this time it was different. He hasn’t asked for money although he hasn’t got any as once again he’s spent his wages. We’ve told him he will have to give up the flat and move back here. I know what you’re thinking stupid idea but yesterday he was full of regret and can’t believe how he treated his girlfriend and her son saying it was like an out of body experience. I know that’s it for her now as she’s protecting her son. He’s now on the sick from work after yesterday and he knows he could quite possibly lose his job now but I think that would be a good thing. He said this is even worse than when he lost his wife and house and his whole life has been a lie. He’s never given up when we all thought he had. He’s just lied and lied and conned people into believing he had. So now I guess we’ll be on a slow ride to the top of that rollercoaster again. By the way, my husband who’s nerves are shot away with the whole damn debacle was absolutely amazing yesterday and so strong for our son although he was dying inside. Wishing you all big love and strength hoping that you are all ok ❤
So you know that roller coaster ride we all live on? Well we’ve just plummeted down to the bottom at a speed of knots! Once again my son has let us a down badly. He went to the caravan for the weekend with his girlfriend her son and his son but was too wiped out to do Jack shit! We all thought that he was trying to prove himself so he could move in with her at the end of the year. No chance of that now! It seems he used on Thursday, payday, and spent most of the weekend in bed coming down. He was also vile to her and her son on the way home in the car so she quite rightly finished it, again!! So yesterday he got to work and had a breakdown and I mean breakdown. His dad talked him into coming here to calm down and talk which he did and he stayed the night. I have never seen him cry and be as remorseful as he was yesterday. Normally it’s crying and begging for money but not this time it was different. He hasn’t asked for money although he hasn’t got any as once again he’s spent his wages. We’ve told him he will have to give up the flat and move back here. I know what you’re thinking stupid idea but yesterday he was full of regret and can’t believe how he treated his girlfriend and her son saying it was like an out of body experience. I know that’s it for her now as she’s protecting her son. He’s now on the sick from work after yesterday and he knows he could quite possibly lose his job now but I think that would be a good thing. He said this is even worse than when he lost his wife and house and his whole life has been a lie. He’s never given up when we all thought he had. He’s just lied and lied and conned people into believing he had. So now I guess we’ll be on a slow ride to the top of that rollercoaster again. By the way, my husband who’s nerves are shot away with the whole damn debacle was absolutely amazing yesterday and so strong for our son although he was dying inside. Wishing you all big love and strength hoping that you are all ok ❤
Kate you are so right I wish we could talk to them all as a collective and share our experiences and the what the ultimate outcome is if they continue. All we can do is pray they overcome it by reaching rock bottom and recovering. Sadly some addicts tragically don’t make it as you know. You are always in my thoughts xxxx
Hello everyone not been on for a while but have been keeping up with everybody’s stories. It’s great to hear that some are doing well in recovery or taking those steps to beat this awful disease. Kate I still think of you and can’t contemplate the awful grief you must he going through but you did everything you could for your boy who was in such a dark place even his mother’s love wasn’t enough. I pray that one day you’ll be at peace with yourself and remember the time before addiction got a hold of him.
My son managed to stay off of coke for 5 weeks and then the Euros happened! He didn’t go out or watch the football in a pub or venue he watched it at home with us but the atmosphere and euphoria from the final got to him and sadly the next day he used. Within 3 days he’d done £700. I can’t remember if I’ve told you this before but he gambled all his wages so had no money for rent or bills so once again we were in the same situation. We were manipulated and emotionally blackmailed into paying his rent again so we have paid it for the last 3 months. Anyway after this latest episode he said that if he did it again we were to tell his ex so that the punishment would be he would lose his son. That’s the first time he said that. He said he would find support and he did. He has been seeing a drugs counsellor for the last 4 weeks and as far as I know not been using. That didn’t stop him asking for £300 to cover some of his bills that he was catching up on from the previous time 3 weeks ago. Sadly this sent my husband over the top and he had a breakdown. I got him to ring the samaritans and the doctor who were both very good and supportive and managed to talk him down. He’s spoken to a family drugs counsellor who we used to see about 2 years ago but is still struggling and is not sure he will ever get over this. I told my son that things had gone too far now and we couldn’t give him anymore money. It’s obscene the amount he’s had off of us in the last 3 years. Everyday we worry what’s going to happen. Every text or phone call is it going to be bad news again? My husband just wants his life back he’s lost all enthusiasm to do anything he’s in a bad state of depression. It’s so sad that their actions cause us so much pain but we know it’s the addiction causing it. I feel I’m such an expert in addiction now and would not have believed my life would be taking this path. He also told us during his moment of regret because he needed money that he took his first line at the age of 15 confirming he’s been using for 18 years. I’d like to think this is nearing the end now, it seems to be their middle 30s that they’ve had enough.
On a positive note my son’s girlfriend has agreed for him to move in with her at the end of the year but again this is on the proviso that he makes good progress in his recovery. We’ll have to wait and see but I won’t hold my breath.
He’s just called me now to tell me his meeting went well this morning so I have to take that at face value.
Sending love and strength to all of you. Xxxx
Kate 1 thinking of you and your family and sending my love. ????????????????
Like everyone else Kate, my thoughts have been with you. All I can say is try to keep strong and know that this was not on you. This is something we all dread as mother’s of addicts but I will be thinking of you on Tuesday as we all will. Celebrate the boy you knew before the devil’s work took hold. Lots of love ❤❤❤