[agnes]

Hi Rachie,

I’m so sorry to hear how difficult things are for you, but thank you so much for sharing your story. I am in exactly the same situation with my mum. It’s been like this ever since I can remember, there are times when everything calms down – but even in the calm times I’m constantly worried that she will do something because I can never really tell how OK she is. I do the same as you, call and text everyday. I try to support her as much as I can financially and emotionally but in the long term I don’t know what to do either. I looked at this website because I can see that it’s really starting to effect my mood and ability to sleep and I needed some help.

Some of the advice I’ve received from other people might be of use to you too though.
– try to look after yourself, I know how hard it is when your constantly worried about someone you love but you won’t be able to help her at all if you don’t put yourself first.
– let other people help, this is the thing I’m struggling with most. Even if you have the courage to speak up and explain the situation to someone, they aren’t always very helpful! I’ve realised that most people don’t know what to do either – so I’ve sat and written lists of small practical things that close friends and family could do for me. For example, calling in on my mum when I can’t be there.
– talk to professionals, I am very aware that it depends on who you see and who you trust but I recently had a chat with my mum’s GP (who told me he know’s another family in a very similar situation). I know that often my mum is more likely to listen to someone other than me, purely because she’s the ‘adult’ and I’m the ‘child’. I went with her to another GP appointment and we’re feeling much more hopeful about the help available out there.

I’m still worried and anxious, but I’m trying to just deal with each day – and so far that’s been easier than thinking too far ahead. Anyway I hope this helps you feel even a tiny bit better – the way your story helped me.

[Author]

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