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I also feel so much in my heart tonight because today was a very hard day, with aggressiveness & it was a MY fault day… so I wonder if you feel that your children may “harm themselves”? because that is my fear. But, even though our worse nightmare isn’t it true that we ALL have choices & have had to live by our choices? So why are we compelled to take the blame for our kids bad choices? I think we let them continue to “do their thing” away from our home, and let them miss a meal or 2 and see if they really want the help. If so, we get them into a halfway house where they work to eat. Just thinking out loud. I am as tired & concerned as you. Thank U for sharing:)
Also I totally understand what you mean, about wanting ‘Your son” back. So do I. I really miss who he used to be, so loving, kind, handsome and thoughtful. I don’t know what drug he is using, or what if any mental condition he has. but, like you said it does help a little knowing others may be feeling what your feeling. Again, I will continue prayers for all us moms, as WE are the ones who care more for our kids no matter what they have become. But, be strong it is true. they are more resilient than we think:) God Bless
Hi ‘Sad and Tired’ and Amanda… I have a 32 yr old son, and I ran into this blog because I am searching for the same as you both are. Tough love has to be the hardest thing for us Moms to go through because we just can’t imagine one of our children would not only do drugs and ruin jobs, finances, relationships, no friends, isolation, on and on… and they blame us, become verbally abusive and what about OUR lives, and Our relationships. Surely we deserve some happiness too instead of worried sleepless nights. Well, after searching and reading your stories, mine is very similar. My son is 32, unemployed & keeps jobs maybe 2-3 months then takes 2 more months to find another job. In the meantime, like you, trying to ‘save face’ or keep the situation at bay so I won’t have to explain much to my husband, I just help him pick up the pieces, again and again. But, I recently started feeling just way too used and tired of the ‘its your fault’ verbal abuse & language that I am going to do the ‘tough love’ thing again. I trust in the Lord enough to know
that whatever happens was inevitiably going to happen. We are human, we are not here to perform miracles for our children. My husband feels the same, like ‘when’ is enough? Like you I also have taken him food, toiletries, paid rent, electricity & phone because I was afraid he would fall into the streets and crime or get beaten up, and I wanted to always have communication. But, I recently spoke to friends & a Pastor friend who said they would put him in a Prayer list and for me to let him discover himself & have some remorse for his actions or I would never be released from HIS addictions. So, tough love it is. I feel for you both and will be worried to death, but when is it enough? What about OUR happiness.. I wish I had better advice for you all, but I am really just beginning to NOT continue paying for any of his debts. Like they say if it ‘works’ for them why should they change? So, good luck to you both, my blessings are with you. May the Lord give us all strength for this disease…