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hi Catsmum,
Read your post and my heart goes out to what youv’e been through.
I think what I find so upsetting is the complete lack of support for your son by services. The system is so so flawed. Reading the posts on here there is so many links to mental health and also links to adhd dyslexia all those things whicg shld be looked in and support in place to help people out of their situations.
Im sorry you have been so much.
Today I am waiting for my son to go into theatre a relapse at he weekend has resulted in him being beaten up very badly.
He has his jaw broken in several places and broken nose and fragmented cheekbone.
The only plus side that i can see in this is that a psychiatric liaison nurse from the hospital has spoken to me and I have pushed for intervention for him but lets see. It may also be a point where he sees this as a turning point and a low point to actively seek help and sort himself out.
Wierdly I slept for the first time in a long time last night as I think knowing hes in a hospital meant he’s safe and less for me to worry about where he is.
I keep thinking of ways in which we can campaign for better services and interventions for addicts as it is appalling how the services just dont seem joined up in their thinking leaving addicts and their families to suffer like this.
Long covid as bad as ever . Signed off work still..feel.like a pensioner. !!
Glad your folks are doing fine.xx
I actually wanted to cry reading tpur post as u felt so happy for you.
Having your son recognized as vulnerable i am sure will be helpful and the fact he has a room too.
So plsed for both of you. Let’s hope more good news to come.
My son seemed better too today so maybe my high alert was overreacting. Hope you’re geeli g glam with your new hair.
It was me that said about the cbt not futurelearn but great this thread has helped xx
I actually wanted to cry reading tpur post as u felt so happy for you.
Having your son recognized as vulnerable i am sure will be helpful and the fact he has a room too.
So plsed for both of you. Let’s hope more good news to come.
My son seemed better too today so maybe my high alert was overreacting. Hope you’re geeli g glam with your new hair.
It was me that said about the cbt not futurelearn but great this thread has helped xx
I actually wanted to cry reading tpur post as u felt so happy for you.
Having your son recognized as vulnerable i am sure will be helpful and the fact he has a room too.
So plsed for both of you. Let’s hope more good news to come.
My son seemed better too today so maybe my high alert was overreacting. Hope you’re geeli g glam with your new hair.
It was me that said about the cbt not futurelearn but great this thread has helped xx
I actually wanted to cry reading tpur post as u felt so happy for you.
Having your son recognized as vulnerable i am sure will be helpful and the fact he has a room too.
So plsed for both of you. Let’s hope more good news to come.
My son seemed better too today so maybe my high alert was overreacting. Hope you’re geeli g glam with your new hair.
It was me that said about the cbt not futurelearn but great this thread has helped xx
Interesting you mentioned ADHD. I was asked by supported living when he moved in if hed been diagnosed with it. He hadnt but now I’m thinking that me thinking it was his dyslexia at school but there may have been more to it. He wasnt severe adhd as he was not too bad at school but definitely something a miss. But anyway sadly if it was adhd to begin with it’s more now!
Who would we write to in government to campaign for change? It just seems so unfair our boys lives are considered worthless and that they cannot receive the help they need.
Sadly though for my son I’m fed up of falling out with him as he wont engage with any services that do exist to help. I just have to keep hoping and praying he at his rock bottom soon.
Lindyloo so plsed for your son and enjoy the peace this brings to you.
I’m writing this very early in bed as I I cldnt sleep in very worried about my son at the moment and so frustrated he wont listen to me.
It really is terrible how flawed the system is.
My son doesn’t seem to be doing so well this week, yet another lost bank card and money someone else has withdrawn from his account.
He’s not happy in the area the council have placed him, but is doing nothing about changing his situation, wont engage with any services.
All very frustrating really, as he just loses his temper at the slightest thing and wont listen to anyone.
I just hope he at least keeps this place as having experienced him being street homeless and what some of you guys are going through with sons on the streets is a scary thought.
i am however trying my best to put space between me and him and taking a step back and trying to preserve my own sanity however its always a cloud hanging over me.
Im pleased for the positive news from those whose sons are doing well, it is hope to us all. I think of you all regularly.
I dont know how to access other peoples posts..I’d love to sign the petition.
How is everyone?
I think about you all.
Ivy how are you. I know you were in a low place when you last wrote.
Ivy, I have just read your post and want to tell you what an amazing human you are to have stayed as strong as you have and to have been so selfless in the love for your son and trying helping him out when his life is such chaos.
Also holding down a job in icu right now is a medal worthy thing in itself.
But you are right to step back and to put yourself first , alien and as torture as it is.
Are you able to access any therapy for yourself? any counselling where you can let off steam and talk to someone? or cbt to help you change your thoughts and feelings to get through this?
I have started a course of cbt with the aim to get on top of the stress and anxiety i feel from my sons situation, to try and find a way to love him from a distance and still be able to have some sort of happiness in my life.
The cbt is through my dr on nhs..im not sure what is available in scotland but i would like to think there is something for you.
i really think though putting yourself first is the best thing you can do, if and when your son does seek help to recover you need to be there for him.
Im pretty certain the stress ive been under compromised my health which is why my covid was so bad and im still unable to walk very far.
Do you have any other support other than on here?
There are other support grps whereby you can chat to people, this wld help you offload and feel supported. i dont know what else adfam have to offer but drugfam have a daily helpline you can call whenever and numerous support grps on zoom etc.
You are going through so much, try to reach out to friends, i know youv’e said you have stopped socialising and in covid times its difficult, but you deserve a life and most people i have spoken to have been so supportive.
remind yourself your son is an adult and there is only so much you can do, i have to remind myself of that, I have to detach from the sweet child whos pictures are on all my walls, it is so hard though.
But your are amazing Ivy to go through what you have and still hold done your job and all you do. Keep strong. xxx
I just want to say that I do love my son the addict but the addiction is destroying me I honestly feel in the interests of self preservation stepping back is all u can do. I
Wow lindyloo that’s amazing g90 days clean so good to hear.
My son just isnt engaging with anyone.
Sorry you had covid too…I am also very breathless and tired still. Ypure right as if our sons wernt enough!
how is your mum Jem?
So much for you to deal with too.
Hopefully your son is on the right path? if hes kicked the hard stuff then hopefully the weed will be next .
Lets hope so anyway.
Good to hear from you.
xx
how is your mum Jem?
So much for you to deal with too.
Hopefully your son is on the right path? if hes kicked the hard stuff then hopefully the weed will be next .
Lets hope so anyway.
Good to hear from you.
xx
hi Ladies been a few weeks since anyone posted so I am hoping that means things are going well for people.
How is everyone?
Im just recovering from covid which has been a bit scary and knocked the stuffing out of me. It hasnt helped that my son has shown no consideration.
Im feeling pretty fed up with the situation now as he seems to wallow in his situation and even when i was bed bound and breathless with covid he was ringing and being demanding and selfish.
How bad a mother will i be if I just block him out of my life? as Im sick of being miserable because of this path he is on and seems to enjoy his victim mentality.
sorry another moany post from me!!
before these addiction problems I was a cheerful person who enjoyed life its totally changed the person I was.