Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Sorry ladies I need to vent off…finally have heard from my darling son(sense the sarcasm)
Hes been kicked out again and for the final.time from supported living for drug taking .
He is now homeless. I’m so stressed he cant come.back here with my younger son here and it’s cold and wet out ..I feel sick.
I cant beleive he has blown 2 chances at that place. I’m cross and stressed but equally so sad that this addiction has got such a hold of him and is destroying his life….oh and ours!
Ladies I’ve just read your posts. I’m so sorry what you are going through. Jenny I hope your sons interview goes well it’s good he has even got an interview as just getting a foot through the door is difficult these days especially with covid.
Jem your son is doing so well I really pray that he gets strength from somewhere and keeps off the heroin. Although I know what you mean about replacing one problem with another if my son is off the drugs then hes on the drink he doesnt seems able to get through life without something.
It’s a shame Jenny that he split with girlfriend as she was probably and good focus for him.
It’s such a roller coaster.
I havnt heard from my son since last weekend when he asked for some money. I actually did a food shop for him yesterday and have tried all day yesterday and today to get hold of him to pass it on to him but he isnt picking up or replying to messages which makes me think the worse. And cross that the food may go to waste.
Lindyloo I totally get why your husband caved and paid the debt it’s so stressful. None of us need this as will as all the covid stuff that’s adding stress to our lives. I am meeting a friend tommorow having to meet outdoors…I am determined to have some fun even if I’m sat with a sodden lunch and watered down glass of something from the rain!!
Hope everyone gets to enjoy the weekend as much as possible. I think of you all the time and hoping and praying for all tour situations.x
I feel like that too .mourning for my old son..my living room is adorned with photos of happier times when he was younger..it feels surreal where we are with him now.
Sometimes it’s like this whole covid thing I just cant get my head round how life has changed.
Try if you can to put it to the back of your mind if tph possibly can and enjoy the weekend.
Go for a nice walk with your husband take in the lovely colours of the autumn trees…sorry if that sounds corny but when I’m feeling low and desperate I try to appreciate those things.
Xxx
They dont get it..addiction is so selfish. But you have done nothing wrong. Try and take deep breaths …have u got a relaxation app or something? Dont let it make you illx
I think you have totally done the right thing. You cannot keep bailing him out he knows that bank of mum and dad will end up paying eventually even though you are doing it under severe duress.
The thought of our sons being beaten up is horrific but maybe it wld put them at rock bottom that they decide to really crack their habit.
Everyone I spoke to wld tell me me helping him is enabling him. I mean I’m still in our hideous addiction journey with my son but have decided I am not going to pay for his addiction. It will be never ending. Its horrendous that we feel nothing but love for our kids who only see us as walking cash machines. I really feel for you. Addiction is mental torture as much for us as living parents as it is for them. I hope you manage to relax and sleep tonight xxx
Sorry lindyloo I’ve just read all this thread.
I really feel for you the good thing about his thread is we can share how we feel and vent off.
It must be heart wrenching to watch. I know as mums we want to help them and it feels like we are so helpless.
All the professionals etc I speak to say they have to really want the help and to stop but the problem is the addiction has control and they cant help themselves and as tpu say it torments them as deep down they do want to stop.
I hope you have luck finding something .
My son is so up and down he says hes stopped but i dont know weather to beleive him. he has rang up for money etc this week and hung up on me when I said no which makes me think that irrational response means the money was for something dodgy!
He tells me he gets no help at supported living other I guess than the roof over his head! I feel so grateful he has that house that I darnt ring supported living to question them on their support.
I wish this country did more for addiction as private rehab is so.expensive.
Big hugs to all..we will get through this.
Lindyloo so sorry to hear that. I really hope it’s a very small blip and he gets back on track.
It’s such a rollercoaster I hope you manage to get some sleep.
I totally relate to what you said.
The fact he was doing so well means he can do it again.
Try and think of the positives as the negatives will weigh you down. I know that is easier said than done I just wish I cld write something that cld wave a magic wand for everyone.
I had positive meet with my son and felt bad that he looked so thin took him a massive food shop he seemed grateful and was nice to me but then yesterday I spoke to him he was back to being erratic and aggressive and hung up on me. So up and down and supported living dont seem to be doing anything.
I just feel grateful though hes not under my roof causing constant stress so dont feel I can complain.
Hope everyone is well and have some me time lindyloo to keep yourself sane.
Xx
hi jem funny i was thinking the same!
assuming/hoping its a sign all is calm. so pleased your son has been clean for so long 6 weeks is a long time. long may it continue.
my son has been given a new chance with supported living he was due to move to the new house on monday. i managed to speak to him that day despite the fact that mostly i ve not been able to get hold of him and he hasnt been returning my calls or txts. he said he didnt feel well and had a fever so i said he shld be getting covid tested (hadnt occured to him that it was) so now he has to wait for. test and results before moving. Other than that i dont know how hes been doing drugwise as hes not here or communicating to me. im trying to be hopeful and also enjoying the calm before another storm hits!!
really hope everyone else is doing well no chocolate cake mess and poo buckets to deal with!!
ladies thanks so much for your support
thought i would update you ….so after a week of stress and the thought that my son wld end up homeless. At about 4.30 i got a call from the contact at the supported living place he is being kicked out of. After me asking for them to intervene with the housing department the council lady(and ill use the term lady to be nice as she was literally the most rudest and unprofessional person ive ever dealt with). anyway council have agreed to put up a bond for somewhere for my son to live and supported housing have agreed to keep him in their house and allocate a member of staff to help him find somewhere.
As long as my son abides by the rules!
Supported housing have also said they wld like to still try and help my son!!! After all this.
So they cant promise anything but if a place becomes available in another one of their centres they will try and get him a place.
So things a bit better, i feel less stressed but also realistic!
Ladies i really hope that your own situations continue to improve its a living hell.
and i have to say that if we had an economy that was more buoyant more money really needs investing in mental health and addiction services, the whole system is a nightmare!!
Thanks theresa I do literally feel physically sick the qhilemsituation is making me ill.
I love and hate my son at the moment in equal measure.
He has had a lovely upbringing with an abundance of love and yet he chooses this way of life?
But deep down I know he is mentally unstable.
I feel for my youngest having an older brother like that.
Sadly it’s the same person allocated to his case. They have said they want proof he is engaging with getting off drugs before helping him.
Exactly the woman in housing isnt returning my call and was awful to me last time.
I’ve been back onto the supported housing..I asked why in 3 weeks he met with noone and they knew what they were getting!
They said it takes time to put things gs in place. He then argued that my son wasnt engaging and most times he met with him he was wasted. I said surely that shld have prompted you to sort something out as he clearly was struggling and they put the owness on my son. I’m not defending my son but I feel he was set up to fail. Three weeks is a long time for someone with mental health and addiction issues to fumble along in a new house with other addicts and no help.. I questioned his duty of care as he will be on the streets as we cant accommodate him. I’m actually dumbfounded and how poor the service was. Not to mention stressed to the eyeballs.
Thanks all on this forum for your support.means slot.
thanks for this, hopefully if i speak to anyone at the council and ive spoken to her before and she was really unhelpful !
but maybe i can quote this to her.
nobody at my sons supported housing are calling me back.
Mostly street valium and ket
It is unbelievable.
I’m sick with worry
Well council.said last time if hes taking drugs hes intentionally making himself homeless.
I’m in a state today as no one will help.