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Lindyloo
No dont mind you reading the thread that’s what it’s there for.
My son has also had money to pay dealers as like you say you end up worrying about them being beaten up.
It’s so tough.
I was due out for a friends drinks tonight but have cancelled only one of the people going know my situation and I just cant put a brave face on especially when everyone will Wittering on about such silly problems which seem like such small fry compared to crap I’m dealing with.
I’ll stay at home and self medicate myself!!
We need stories like that to lighten the mood!!
Good to heat from you
so ladies hope youve had a good week?
mine has been eventful as usual with my son, i sick of the drama.
earlier this week he was pulled over by the police and told he looked like a suspect in a burglary(he wasnt and was pretty upset and concerned about it) the police however had s sniffer dog with them who sniffed that he had ketamine on him.
So far he hasnt been arrested and charged. But he gave them my bloody number to call? as if he thinks i want any involvement in his bloody dodgy way of life.
Then today i call him and find out hes waiting to hear if he is going to be kicked out of his supported living!!!
So feeling torn with my emotions on this one, number one fed up with my son that he s in this position and stressing me out but also frustrated and angry that the supported living wasnt supported at all!! so hes been there about 3 weeks and depsite being told at his assessment he would be given a full mental health assessment he has received nothing…not even a conversation with a key worker..no support at all!!!
i really hoped this would be the solution.
thrown him in a house with blokes who all drink and take drugs so essentially the total opposite of supported living.
he apparently has a meeting at 2pm based on what decision they have come to and if he will be kicked out.
sick of all the stress, even all my eyelases have fallen out with stress.
Hi ladies
Jem i hope you son Carrie’s on doing so well i know what you mean it is like going through a war !!
So my son is still in supported living but as yet it sounds like hes not being supported which is a worry. Last weekend I spoke to him he was wasted and said the people in the house were all drinking?!
He then called me and asked me if I cld bail him out of a problem with the police and I said no. Turns out he bought a car with his universal credit ….my son doesn’t have a license and cannot drive !!he said he was going to get his gf to teach him!..anyway the car got seized as he hadnt insured it….. it worrys me that he is making such stupid and dangerous life choices.
This now means he has no money for food and I told him i wasnt going to buy him any but it’s hard when i see how thin he is.
On a positive side the house is calm but i still cant sleep for worry. i think when u live so stressed for such a long time it’s hard to live normally.
I need to train myself to not worry.
Jenny I hope your son finds a place so you can relax a bit as you say it’s not fair on your mum. Let’s face they are so caught up in their addictions and chaotic lives the last thing they are thinking about is social distancing! Maybe theres a chance him and his gf will move in together?
I hope u all get to enjoy the weekend as much possible and this weather before the new restrictions kick in!
Yes indeed let’s enjoy the highs when we have them!!
My friend lent me the book of a suitable boy but the size of it scared me..wld take me a year to get through it!
I’ve picked up in the realm of hungry ghosts today cant remember who suggested it..got an odd look from the librarian!!
jem wow that sounds like a really positive evening lets hope you have more of those.
i will def tap into the forums for tips.
jenny i had to laugh at your post about the pants!! lol no one needs to see sonic the hedgehog on their man!
i hope this girl is the one to turn things around.
I spoke to my son this morning he did his usual of calling me coz he wanted something this was another ‘ive lost my i.d ‘call can you sort it out..ive lost count how many times ive had to do it but i did as he needs it to get work. He actually sounded pretty good, no slurred speech from drink or drugs and was up early and about to go job hunting so positive steps. He said he is yet to meet his key worker at this supported living place but hopefully it will be soon.
Jem I related to all you wrote and didnt digitally roll my eyes I totally get where your coming from and trying to minimise the chaos that his habit inflicts in you daily.
It’s good to have ground rules even if they become hard to enforce.
Even the bedroom in your house is stressful as we were the same clearing my sons room was a.mammoth task and was disgusting that it was a room in my own home.
I’m glad that he joined to watch TV with you as it’s those moments we gave to hold onto to give us hope.
I would be interested to know which forum for recovering addicts you went on as that may be helpful for me.
Jenny I’m so sorry about your week. It’s good you have been to the drs I need to do that. We all need to look after ourselves as the stress is just too much.
Any of you had counselling? I had some through a different organisation but wasnt helpful as I found the counsellor quite judgemental. Another counsellor I found really helpful but she left. Just wondering what else we can all do for the stress?
How was everyones weekends in the end?
I saw my son today first time since we told him to move out.makes me so sad seeing how rough he likes and today was spaced out.
Hes moved into his supported living I hope it works out.
I just feel so sick with worry makes me so sad to see how hes turned out.
Jem i am so sorry that he is relapsed after 7 weeks. It’s such a rollercoaster when they do well and then slip off the wagon so emotionally exhausting.
But hes now proved he can do it and hopefully he will try again.
I would definitely go away we all need to put ourselves first as otherwise we will be left with no joy and respite from this hell we live.
In answer to the question my son moves in on Tuesday I beleive he still isnt talking g to me as such as he thinks I’m the witch who’s kicked him out I did point out to him that it was this witch that has got this place lined up for him and it has been done out of love as I want him clean and to lead a happy healthy life. I just hope he engages with the programme.
Yes I hear what your saying let’s hope she is the answer and spurs him to change his ways.
Oh Jenny how horrible I related to most of what you said.
Like me you are being bullied by him.
Have you thought about putting his belongings in a storage unit?
I know it costs money but wld he then come.round less?
Does he have keys? Change the locks?
You are not being awful he needs to learn and you need some peace.
Also and I know it’s easier said than done but he needs to wake up and get a job and sort himself out.
You’ve lost alot of money bailing him out like I have with my son it’s disgusting.
Yes this is a really nasty situation. This is a criminal.offence what hes doing. You need to speak to someone about it and get out of this relationship.
If your family are supportive can u move back ?
Im really sorry you are having to deal with this.
Also secretly record his threats on your phone if you are able to in case you need evidence.
Oh I’ll def look into getting that book.
Your ex was really stupid saying that not helpful at all. My ex isnt far off he refused to take him in and has left it all to me but still happy to point the finger when it goes wrong.
So I’ve heard through my sister that he has been offered the supported living place as of next week which is great news. I hope he sticks to their programme. My sister also told me he is still very angry about me kicking him out and has said he Hope’s my youngest gets taken into care..a very jealous and spiteful comment.!
Jenny I know what you mean I’ve dug into the back of brain for explanations did he get abused by a cub leader ? All sorts of explanations but I think a mixture of being dyslexic and struggling at school being bullied rejection from his dad jealous of his mums new family and an addictive personality or mental health issue has all contributed.
I hope both your sons are safe tonight and you get to relax even a little bit.
It’s interesting that our sons are from familys where their biologically dad isnt around, my ex has never been around properly for him but my husband is and even by my sons admission a great stepdad but I think the rejection from his real dad has a massive part to play in his issues.
Unlike u though my son was only 18mnths when we split I think he feels the odd child out as both me and his dad have remarried and have other children.
My son did go to the assessment I’ve heard but u dodnt know how it went and doubt I’ll find out.
I’m feeling crap today about things but do feel we had bo choice with everything that’s gone on and having to consider my youngest.
You son was a fully grown adult before your relationship he cant blame your partner ultimately hes has made the choice to take drugs and needs to take personal responsibility for that. All they seem to do is throw blame on other people. I had a very unsettled upbringing but I always stayed on the right path it is a choice.
I hope he doesnt lose his laptop and comes home ok for.you. we shouldn’t be worrying about them like this when they turn adults.
My son doesnt take heroin and it’s my worst fear however according to the drug counsellors I’ve spoken to what he is on is just as addictive so just as bad.
It really is like the drugs have taken my son and just left a shell and nothing positive.
I go to bed worrying about him and if I actually sleep wake up worrying too. He has his assessment for a supported living place today I just hope he goes and it goes well.