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Yes I’m starting to feel that my husband and I were just looking at the family pictures in our living room and it’s a different person that child and the adult he is.
So so sad but I know we cant have him back now I just hope he get some sort of wake up call..
But I sympathise Jenny my sons personality totally disagreeable too.
your son has done well to stay clean for 7 weeks and i can understand why you’d be scared for him to leave. Is he engaging with any drug services to help him?
My son had also only been back home since during lockdown hes also been in either shared house or flat with his gf but back here he just wasnt adhering to my boundaries especially with my younger one in the house so we have kicked him out a few times for that reason. And when he has been drug free his temperment is so volatile if anything that has been as much as the issue as the drugs. I spoke to him today and his voice sounded like he was on something so sad as i feel me kicking him out hasnt helped but equally we had just no choice.
I find it so frustrating that he just cant see what hes doing to himself and those around him.
ive saught out so many places and options for help for him but he wont engage and obviously as hes an adult so that means my hands are tied.
also his druggie girlfriend makes him worse they have such a toxic dependence on one another.
its funny as so far ive encountered anyone who knows of a girl with drug problems does seem to be a more male thing or am i wrong?
thanks jem.
i feel for you like you say if he was a normally functioning drug free adult the chocolate incident wld be a source of amusement but i can totally relate in these circumstances it is just sad.
i feel like im still struggling was unable to sleep last night as despite making the decision to make my son leave the house the problem still hasnt gone away.
i did feel better looking across the landing to his room and seeing it clean and tidy and the chaos of his room gone but i think we will nd up moving as the last several years have been so traumatic it just reminds me of all the bad memories.
the last few weeks ive struggled to get out of bed as when ive heard him up ive been so depressed about what the day had in store. I sometimes wonder if i will ever be the person i used to be.
i hope theresa you are enjoying your break as much as you possibly can.
dont think about him, this is your escape and a chance to forget things while your away.
My son has checked into a travel inn for £25 tonight paid for by his gfs parents…ironically he got paid £300 for labouring work on friday so he shld pay for it himself. there are options to him being on the street. I refuse to cave in hes had enough out of us. he can now choose homelessness over getting s a job and supporting himself. I hope this is his wake up call.
he naturally hates me for it and cant see why? he thinks we shld keep feeding him and having him here whatever his behaviour.
I know that we will have some tough times ahead as he wont have money etc.
I did get a referrall done by a supported living place who help people like him he has a an assessment there this week and has to agree to engage in their programmme and will depend if they have a space somewhere for him so i am praying tht is the case so that i can sleep at night.
As far as i know he has stayed at his gf for a night a druggie mates lsat night and his gfs parents apparently paying for a hotel for him tonight….clearly they dont want him in the house either!
jem and jenny I am s sorry to read your posts because i totally relate to it and am in the same situation and i wouldnt wish my worst enemy this misery.
We have kicked my son out on friday we have kicked him out before and been bullied by him or duped into having him back but this is for good.
he took an overdose last friday im still not sure if it was a suicide attempt or just his usual taking too much of stuff but anyway he ended up in hospital and told them that hed done it because of me!! as a result we had a police visit and social services do an investigation because of my younger son being here thankfully common sense prevailed and its gong no further as they could obviously see its not us… but a a wake up call to us…he kept us awake with his druggie girlfriend and that was it told him to go and never come back. today weve cleaned/fumigated his hole of a room and will putting his belongings in a storage unit so we dont have him bothering us for his stuff.
weve changed the locks too and will call the police if he does what hes done in the past by banging and hammering on our door in the middle of the night and us being forced to let him in.
i cannot beleive that the only people in the world who have tried to help him have been abused and bullied so much by him and could have caused so much potential damage to his younger brother who weve bent over backwards to protect.
We live in a good area and lots of opportunities but wasted on him.
like others have mentioned his eyes are dead and his a big ball or anger, drugs have ruined a sweet boy and im struggling to keep it together.
im so sorry to everyone who has to go through this.
just wondering who on this forum has been made to feel by their child that its their fault their child has an addiction? my son claims its me and yet i know ive been a great mum doing all i can for him. even now the only ones who would take him in despite constant abuse. heartbreaking to be made to feel that despite giving your everything he looks to blame someoene.
Thanks so far we havnt been successful..and yes this area has always been under resourced.
I’m sorry to hear that. Your husband is probably really hurting from your sons addiction. It makes us feel emotions that we wld never normally feel and say. I just spoke to drugfam it was good to speak but I still feel hopeless no good outcome at the moment.
i have had a horrific day today. I can t beleive that my life has come to this. I kicked my son out for about the third time in a short space of time as we just cannot live with him and his behaviour . for 2 nights he hounded us by hammering on our door all night until we let him in.
this morning he turned up after apparently spending the night at a drug dealers house he was erratic and clearly had taken something we ended up having to call the police as he was intimidating and we felt he needed sectioning that obviously didnt happen and despite telling the police he wld be leaving he remained here all day with us treading on eggshells.
so where do we go from here ? weve tried kicking him out weve tried everything we feel uneasy in our own home and i feel totally hopeless. if things arnt bad enough my husband has been made redundant , ive never felt so hopeless and miserable i cant sleep and really despair at where things will end.
Just wondered how you are getting on. Life feels unbearable for me, my son is so aggressive and intimidating. He treats me so appallingly I just want to run away given him so many chances. Hes kicked off big time today am sure has caused himself mental health issues. I’ve tried saying he cant live here anymore and he kicks off and frightens me even more.
Any advice.
totally, ive felt so alone in this no one i know has been through anything like this and just dont understand. good to have a forum like this even though none of us would wish this hell on anyone else.
Wow that’s so hard for you I’ve also had that 2 days before Christmas in hospital getting his arms stitched up ..not much fun and numerous times he says lifes not worth living. The drugs and alcohol messing with their brain chemistry so much of it is mixed in with mental health issues. But we all have to cling onto hope as they can turn it around and must focus on the success stories.
Wow that’s the exact age we started having issues with my son..not the drugs but the start of problems..I’m not surprised you’ve had enough of him. Good luck.
well im not sure if it is the right decision, i am worried sick especially as now i don’t know where he is and what he is doing.
Its such as a shame as he came back home to live and he did a month of being clean and then relapsed but its such a circle as he doesnt seem to maintain it and wont engage in services he dips in and does one session with a service and then says it doesnt help and so back to square one.
im worried sick im sure he has a mental heal issue now, but its such a hard decision. im stuck between a rock and a hard place, dammed if i do dammed if i dont and im sure you feel the same.
Try not to let him ruin your relationship with your husband otherwise his drug problem is ruining elements of your life and not just his……easy for me to say all this as i know it really feels like a hopeless situation.
Have you received counselling to talk over how your are being affected? Im having some at the moment, its not a magic wand by any means and i wish someone could just tell me the right thing to do but it does make me feel better talking to an outsider and not feel judged, i struggle to speak to friends as i feel so ashamed.